I like this girl. But she doesn't know me. I don't know her.
I can't explain why I love her so.. I've tried to explain to myself. The best explanation is that I actually feel electricity buzzing when i think of her. It makes me sad that I won't be with her, and I know that I'll never feel that buzz about anyone else, but I send her a lot of energy all the time. I'm not angry, or upset, but I sort of died inside. I go through most days hoping someone will shoot me in the face, or a meteor will land on me. Make it quick.
Even if I was with another girl, and she was pretty, smart, accepting of my many many faults, I know in my heart I'd never feel the buzz.
I like her to remain a mystery to me. And she will. To be honest, I like the buzz. It makes me happy, and sad. It helps me to understand the world better. It allows me to focus.
Maybe next time. I'll have to wait out infinity for a chance at a chance of having a very small chance, but it's the only thing thats ever given me hope. True hope. And maybe not. But thats okay.