My Bestfriend is Pregnant
My bestfriend is pregnant and im not sure im happy about it. we have been bestfriends since we were about 8 and im 22 and shes 23 and one of the reasons im not happy is she got drunk one night and didnt use protection and got pregnant. That just blows my mind.. why wouldnt u use protection if you didnt want a baby? being drunk is no excuse. She's had two miscarriages so you would think she would learn her lesson. If you planned it and wanted to have the baby maybe i would feel different. Mind you when she told me this she said. " I didnt think i would get pregnant" My question is, What the h*** do you think happens when you dont use protection and have s**!? This made me so mad i wanted to punch her right in the head. I know thats means.. but why wouldnt you use your brain? Is 10 minutes of drunken s** worth the rest of your life? No i do not believe it is. Im also upset because i feel like everything is going to change. She can't go out anymore an she keeps telling me nothing will change an shell have babysitters to watch the baby so we can go out. But it doesnt matter..it is going to change and i dont think she realizes how much her life is going to change. At the moment we arent talking because i cant get over this right now and she said im self centered and all i care about is myself. Its not that i care about myself i care about us and what we are going to lose and how things are going to change. But i dont want us to change.. we are so young an have so many yrs ahead of us. Why now? Why would she not use her brain an think before she acted? I cant stop asking myself this and even asking her this and she said its done and i cant change it. I wonder if ill ever be happy and what if im not? I dont wanna lose her as a bestfriend but i feel like im gonna. She lives an hour away so we dont see eachother that often anyway but when i hangout with her its always a blast.. Now what? I drive an hour to go hangout with her and her baby? Thats not my cup of tea..Im sad and i cant imagine what shes going rough and i want to be there for her. And i try but than i find myself getting upset when we are on the phone and i do not know how to cope with this and move past it. A chapter in our lives has closed and it almost feels like a death and i wasnt and im not ready for it. We had so many plans for the future and i now feel like its all ruined she tells me its not and shell have someone babysit. but it still wont be the same to me. When we are out shes still going to be the one who has a baby at home. I have all these feelings in my head but dont even know how to say them. I feel like she will never understand and i just want her to know i feel like this because i love her so much and dont want things to change. I like it just the way it was and maybe i am a little jealous because shes going to have this baby and it wont be me and her anymore. Her life will be tied up with this baby and where does that leave me?