I'm scared of going to **.

Because of a music group.Believe it or not. I am 16. I listen to most music. I am considered a rocker though. My favorite band is a rap/rock group who are sometimes called the most hated band in the world. Its Insane Clown Posse. I get so much ** from people who don't like them for even calling them a little religious. But I was an atheist. Then ** happened. A friend got me listening to ICP. I heard a few songs that gave me chills. Some of it scares me really. For the people who don't know, ICP has a set of 6 albums, the last having 2 parts, that are called Jokers Cards. Yes, they talk about murder but they do so people would know how things will end if they do wrong. The last album that has 2 separate parts is called The Wraith. The first one that was released was **'s Pit. The second was Shangri La. (Shangri La = Heaven). **'s Pit really scares me. Its the darkest music I have ever heard. Shangri La is happy, upbeat, & most songs make me cry. One lyric that's on Thy Unveiling (Shangri La) is "when we talk about Shangri La what you think we mean? Truth is we follow God". ICP changed my life. I am honestly scared of going to ** now. I don't pray everyday. I think I always have "The day when the wagons come I hope you let me on. Will you let me on?" in my mind. I do bad things on a daily basis. I honestly love **. People say its so wrong though. I try to change but I just can't. I love ** so much and I love older guys. I mean, the guys who started all the Juggalo stuff are almost 40 & what I want to do to them is so inappropriate! But I can't really change what I like & what I want to do. But just to make this crystal clear, I am Christian. I have never read the bible. I just listen to the music. I listen to what people tell me. I want to go to Shangri La (Heaven) because Violent J (1 of the 2 guys in ICP) said he doesn't want any juggalos or juggalettes (ICP's "followers") to go to **. The word "juggalo" is not on **'s Pit for that reason. Shangri La says "juggalo" in like every song. I just don't want to disappoint one of the men who changed my whole life. I would do anything for Violent J & Shaggy 2 Dope. I used to want to die. Now I want to make things right so I won't go to ** when I do die.