Why Can't I Just Die
I sometimes wonder why people die accidental deaths all the time and I try to die and I can't even accomplish that. My very existence is for serving others. There is not a second that goes by that I don't think of how to make other people happy. I pretend to be happy when I am really not and even though I am crumbling inside I have to put on a brave face because if I don't I am serving my purpose. Sometimes I believe I was put on this earth so that everyone else achieved happiness at my own expense.
I just wish I had a good insurance policy so that I could commit suicide and let my family be taken care of and not have to look at me.