I can't understand

Please, I don't get it. I'm going on my senior year tommorrow. I've never had a serious relationship. The longest I ever dated someone was a couple of weeks if even that. I've always had to chase the guys, friends and pursue the relationship with my family. Why is it I see ugly, f****** b****** with wonderful guys dangeling on the arms? I think I look good. I'm a little bit b***** than average but, I'm pretty tone, I have long brown hair and greenish blue eyes, i have Urban downtowner look and I'm 5'3 and pretty outgoing? What am I doing wrong? I think I'm funny and loving and so f****** caring, but why is it a one way street? It's like I don't belong in this world or something I swear. . I'm so insightful and live to learn new things, not really school things but things I'm interested in. I love philosophy mythology photography dancing music soccer visor games and things that will broaden my mind and thoughts. I don't do drugs but I'll try anything once. I do smoke now, cigarettes and it's a social habit. I'll drink but on special occassions. I'm also the only virgin I know. I'm not really religious o belive in a god but idk. I'm spiritual, I promise I'm not one of those f****** freaks in school wearing tails and into anime crap. I just don't get it, everybody walks around with somebody. Sometimes I really do wonder. Am I not suppossed to be here. I don't want to be meant to be left alone. . I supposse maybe. I'll have to deal with it.
I'll have to learn to live alone.

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  • What I think, is that boys your age (you ARE a teen, correct?) date girls they might (ahem, WILL) cringe about as they grow older. You feel lonely now, I can relate. Yes. But believe me, the boy who sees your worth is someone you should keep. It is hard, but do wait. And don't be desperate.

    Just think. If a random boy was was quite good-looking, loves the things you do and very smart, compared to a boy who was ugly and yet for some reason you love him with all your heart despite his faults. Maybe because he's sexy in a way you like? Which would you choose? There will come a time when their tastes will change, when they had enough and move on. I cannot stress this enough, just wait.

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