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I have stopped driving because
When ever i am behind the wheel i cant help but think what if i go straight into the divider instead of turning. what if i go off the bridge instead of on. I am always hoping i will have the courage to go straight into oncoming traffic, but so far have not. Its like everything else just fades out while i think and then all of a sudden im past the turn and still alive, and a little disappointed
You have a deep rooted fantasy for suicide, while it is not uncommon to be depressed, when you fantasize about suicide that is a clear indication you have some deep rooted feelings to kill yourself and should seek a psychiatrist or psychologist to shine light on your thought process and take necessary steps to fix it. I used to do this while I was driving, too, and feel some strange urge to drive off highways, bridges, into traffic, etc...and it scared me so much because I didn't feel in control.