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In pain
This world is killing me. I set everything straight in my life that I could. It ** I feel like a walking zombie. I really do. I'm not always here anymore. Emotionally, I'm dead. And have been for quite sometime. It's funny. I'm not afraid to die anymore. Not afraid to look at the stats and have to be earth bound. I almost feel happy, or something to know. I don't care, have no ties, have no dreams or wants. I can live or die. Do as I please. Death is only scary if you have somthing to live for. If you want to see the skies turn from black, to a silver blue before a vast unshakeable tide of orange and red erupt against the clouds creating a sunrise.
Only then do you know, you can commit sucide as dawn unravels your frozen body from the night before.
The sunrise can take my soul.
God I hate it how tunnel-visioned Jesus freaks always take times like this to preach unsolicited. Makes me sick.
You need God to give you peace. You may not believe in God right now but just remember this, You can call on Jesus at anytime. He has the power to heal you and give you peace..The power of life and death, it's not in your hands. It's in God's hands.
I feel your pain, I really do. Just that I'm not emotionally numb, and am overwhelmed with everything. Life is simply too much for me. The thought of suicide, that I can always end it all whenever everything become unbearable, is the only little thing that calms me down. Whenever I got stressed, a visualisation of me hanging myself comes to mind. I am scared of myself.