Life finally sober?

So i used to be a heroin addict. before that it was pills, before that it was cocaine,before that it was booze and pot. i started when i was 12 im now 22 and for the first time in my life im sober. its been 113 days clean now. but now im starting to remember things. things i havnt thought about since i started using. now i know why i started. the problem is i dont want to remember. i dont want to think about it. it drives me crazy that all that s*** happend to me at such a young age. why didnt anyone protect me? why didnt i protect myself. i cant sleep anymore im always having panic attacks. i feel myself breaking and i cant stop it. i want my drugs back. but i dont want to be a junkie anymore. but if these thoughts in my head dont stop and these memories dont go away i dont see me having a choice. i cant handle it. i never have obviously there's a reason why i blocked it out for so long!!! i dont know what to do anymore~~~

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  • Im so sorry that i have no advice. Just want to commend you for having made it through the worst. Trust me, if you can beat heroin addiction, you can do pretty much anything.
    I feel terriblethat you went through the pain of withdrawal, successfully, just to feel even worse being sober.. my suggestion is to get therapy, start running, f** it, even smoke weed, but please please don't relapse on heroin. Trust me, it gets harder and harder tk quit successfully with each relapse

  • Hang in there, you have another chance to handle it right this time. Pain in remembering only means that you are healing. It feels good afterward

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