Same old problem

I love my wife, but she doesn't want to have s**. She says that she loves me too, but I'm not sure if I believe her. The rare times we actually have s** its pretty passionless and forced. She tells me that she doesn't have any fantasies and she never even thinks about s**.

I don't know what to do. I feel so sad and depressed. I've tried to talk to her about it, but it always turns into an argument.

I hate myself and feel pretty much worthless. I don't know what to do. We argued tonight and she told me I had two options. Accept the fact our marriage would always be sexless and this way, or leave her. She doesn't care which one I choose as she's just sick of arguing over it. She tells me that this is normal, and most women are in the same situations as her, and most men are in the same situation as me. I just can't believe there are that many unhappy people in this work. She has no interest in seeing anyone about this to talk it through, she's told me that's just the way she is.

I don't know what to do. I'm so unhappy. I love my wife, we have two children who I love more than anything. I've chosen to have to live with the situation because I don't want to be away from them, but I'm so angry at my wife for forcing me to make that choice.


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  • My neighbor is in the same boat as you but he has me for s** now and that's all it is, is s**. He says he loves me but I know it's my p**** and ass he loves for that's when he tells me he loves me is when he c*** in me. Without me he'd be divorced but I feel good when he's banging away at me and as far as he goes he's a good lover and man does he ever c** lots which I love but I wouldn't marry him and he knows it to.

  • Tell her you want an open relationship. That's another option.

  • im in the same boat, dude, i fixed that by getting a girlfriend, if she want to be a prude then i wont feel bad if she finds out, my response will be "what do you expect" if theres no food in the kitchen, you go shopping!!!!!

  • Unfortunately this is very common. I and a sh*tload of other guys are in the same situation.

  • "this is what mistresses exist for. Some carefully planned out gifts to a sexy young girl will get you all the s** you want as long as you accept that she only loves your gifts, not you. Wife & family are intact, sexual needs are met, and someone's tuition is paid."


  • Time for internet p*** and a date with Rosie Palm and her 5 daughters! Good luck you poor b******! The old lady never washed her p**** out anyways!

  • she is just your typical money grubbing american housewife c***. Get a girlfriend on the side. Either way she knows she is going to get everything you got. might as well get some vag in the meantime

  • This is sad, but common. It may be psychological, or it may be a hormone imbalance. I used to LOVE s** when I was younger, then I turned 33 and it was like a switch flipped one day. Suddenly the idea of a man touching me made my skin crawl. For me it was a combination of being cheated on and lowered testosterone levels. I was surprised that I had hormone problems so young. Ask her if she will have that checked out on herself. I'm sure she wants you to be happy as long as she doesn't feel pressured into doing things she doesn't want to do. As a last resort, this is what mistresses exist for. Some carefully planned out gifts to a sexy young girl will get you all the s** you want as long as you accept that she only loves your gifts, not you. Wife & family are intact, sexual needs are met, and someone's tuition is paid.

  • Dude..she is SO f****** someone else.

  • I think it may depend on how long it's been going on like this. She may be having some physiological or psychological issues. Anyway, be patient with her and more romantic. If you do nice things for her that may bring the spark back. I know, if my boyfriend fixed my issue with toilet not flushing right, I would give him a night to remember!

  • You need to decide whether you are going to be happy within the life you have right now, or change it if you think you can be happier somehow.

    Either way, you're facing difficulty, pain, and adjustment; you aren't going to be able to escape feeling what you need to feel if you want to truly figure out how to make yourself happy, and then do what it takes to make it happen.

    Wishing you the best. For real.

    PS If you really "hate yourself and pretty much feel worthless", I hope you will consider that that's as low as anyone ever deserves to feel, even for a few moments.. and do something about this, and soon.

  • Welcome to the club. It's common enough; I and a hefty percentage of men I know are in the same boat.

  • This is NOT NORMAL. She may be lesbian, or cheating on you!!! You probably love her more than anyone else, so you would probably feel guilty to leave her. You need to have a serious talk about this. When you love someone very much, you are attracted to them in EVERY way. ESPECIALLY sexually! As the baby story goes, when a man and a woman love each other very very much... But no wonder you feel depressed! Its not normal. But have you considered maybe its because she dosent want the kids around when you do it? Or maybe she feels guilty because she thinks the kids will magically figure it out...
    But when you have s**, make sure she is turned on first!

  • I feel for you but I think you need to look inside... yourself. If there is love to be salvaged maybe you are going about it the wrong way. Re-build your relationship again and the lovemaking will be sure to follow.

  • I am in the same situation as you are- except I have girl friends on the side. I know you dont want to leave her cause you love her (plus kids.. and alimony... dont want that). So just get a FWB. Its not illegal until you get caught.

  • Pretty sure is f****** someone else. Sorry dude. Time to get rid of her or start making love with your hand.

  • I'm a woman and I can tell you that this is not how most women feel. If she refuses to have s** with you or at the least, discuss it, maybe you should leave.

  • My ex was like your wife. She left me on my birthday in 02. She turned out to be gay. I remarried 3 years laterto a passionate woman who loves s**. Every woman I dated loved s**. It isn't normal to never make love. It isn't normal to make love once a month.

  • Your wife may be hiding something very deep that may need respect- or for it to come out in the open. Sides, why don't you go back through the teen-age-like references on how to turn her on and see if that works. Sometimes a woman needs foreplay she wasn't even aware of.

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