No place for a girl like me
Since five,I've done things to myself. Things that don't make me feel good afterwards. It did then because I didn't really know what I was doing. I just knew it felt good.
Elementary school was awesome. I had friends that loved me and cared.
Middle school I had friends and we hung out occasionally, but my mom mostly said no because, I am a rebellious child. And its true. I am
High school all my friends drifted from me. Flying out of their cocoons and fluttering around easily. For me, well one of my wings was smaller than the other.
I quit volleyball, didn't go out for track like people expected. I quit life. I'm getting fatter and fatter everyday. I sit at home on the computer thinking of ways to make people like me. To want to care about me. At first I think the advice is helping. Then I hit an all time low.
I'm not attracted to black guys and I myself am an African American(and I hate it). But they don't like me back because, sterotypical black women I guess. I fit the fat sterotype. I like to listen to sigur ros, 30 seconds to mars, paper kites, m83, iron and wine. I am just that kind of girl. And I love writing.
I don't have any motivation to get to know people. I just assume that if they want to know me that they'll make the first move....right?
I feel so childish sometimes. I never say the right things. When people ask me how their hair looks I'll just say fine because honestly I wouldn't know. On top of that I hate giving negative critisim.
My family thinks I'm weird, annoying, immature. When I try to show them music, they look at me c*** eyed and say I listen to the weirdest stuff. I feel no support or love from any of them. I showed my mom a hairstyle I wanted today and she told me "I see it, now go away" I just hate being here. Earth, it's just no place for a girl like me.
Death is a punishment to some, to others a gift and to many a favour.