I Have an Extreme Fat Fetish.

For as long as I can remember, and from my earliest memories I have been fascinated by ** ladies. When I hit puberty I could only spank it to extremely fat women. Women with huge double bellies, huge sagging **, enormous butts and thighs, plump round faces with double chins that quiver when they laugh, etc. Average size or God forbid skinny girls just didn't do anything for me and actually sort of made me sick but the fat ones drove me wild. But like many immature adolescent guys, I would never let my freak flag fly and would go with the flow and act like I was grossed out by fattys. In college I used to go hogging with a couple of my friends. We would pool our money and see who could get and have ** with the biggest fattest girl. Who ever got the biggest one would win the money. I have to say that I won the pot more often than not. Im not exactly proud of it but it was a way to get laid without looking like a chubby chaser. But even when I was taking advantage of some desparate ** or SSBBW, I never let on that I liked the big girls. I would just say it was for the money or for the challenge. Unfortunately I think I hurt the feeling of a lot of nice girls while doing so and I feel bad about it. Now I'm in my late 20s and about a year ago I met a girl who is very large, like almost 450lbs. I'm guessing because I've never asked her her weight and I'm only going by past experience. I haven't introduced her to my close friends or family for fear of subjecting her and myself to fatophobic ridicule. She has a beautiful face and a stellar personality. Our ** life is amazing. But unfortunately as big and fat as she is, I'm starting to think that she isn't big enough. I would really prefer her to be bigger, fatter, heavier. I've even started taking her out to all you can eat buffets a couple times a month. I bring her flowers and candy every week and take her out for ice cream at least twice a week. I think she is starting to suspect something as she said to a friend recently that she swears that I'm trying to make her fatter. I think she said it in jest but I'm not so sure. Am I screwed up or am I wrong or perverted in my desire for a fatter girlfriend? Because I think I am and I'm ashamed of it but at the same time I can't help it.

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