This is my line in the sand.
You know, we had a good run but I think the time has come for the breaks to be put on. There is no point in keeping this friendship going anymore. All I do is just p*** you off because more often than not you just end up getting mad at me over the most mundane things or because things aren't going your way. I did everything I could for you, I tried to compromise whenever I felt it prudent to do so and tried to change who I was to keep you as a friend but in the end it wasn't enough and I just can't keep up anymore. I suppose it's partially my fault because this might not have happened if I didn't spoil you so much, or if I wasn't as nice as I was, or if I was more nonchalant about the entire thing or if I was more upfront about what I wanted. After today it made me realize what everyone was talking about when I needed to end the friendship.
Putting me down and disrespecting me and embarrassing me the way you did hurt me worse than any physical punch you could throw at me cause it went right to my heart. I tried to talk about it but your stubborn nature wouldn't have any of it and you just dismissed me like it was nothing. You do NOT treat a real friend like that at all. I was amazed it lasted as long as it did. We have NOTHING in common: music, movies, games, political and religious affiliations, personalities, etc. Everything was polar opposite but we muscled though it all. But in the last few weeks things changed and we started drifting farther and farther apart and you didn't want to spend as much time with me. Not only that but you started changing and I didn't like it at all, especially leading up to the crash and afterwards. You were getting increasingly agitated with me over things I said or did and you didn't really seem like you wanted to talk to me anymore. It was like a marriage going sour.
Might I now be blowing things out of proportion? Maybe. You probably don't see this the same way I do, or valued our friendship the way I did because I really thought we had a good thing going, especially since we were like oil and water. It would suck to find out that was the truth but if it is, so be it. I thought I could be here to help you turn your life around but you just want to focus on the here and now and not plan for your future.
I loved you deeply and after you had said to me at my dads that if you weren't with Brian, you'd be with me... I believed it and wondered why you weren't already. That gave me hope but as time went on, I realized that it would never work and I was almost afraid that you would break up with him and turn around and want to be with me. Why? because then you would see the real me; the person you know nothing about, the person I keep locked away because if I let him out, you would run for the hills or never speak to me again and I didn't want to risk our great friendship over something like that. I kept him locked up for so long that as I was spending more time with you, I started to dislike who I was. I felt like I was lying to you the entire time, like I was putting on this mask of who I though I should be around you.
No more hiding.