In love with a man in NYC

I'm a married woman but I keep thinking about a fling, FWB or some would call a 'port of call' that I have in NYC.

Its an international affair. Thing is, I met him exactly the same week I met my current husband. He is British [B], and my husband is Canadian [C]. At the time when I was single, I was in banking, was working in Europe and never expected to get married.

My Brit boy has come over from the UK before to visit me, we had a great time, he went home. I met my future Canadian husband the night after Brit left.

I love to spoil my men, and I've spoilt B a tonne because I never expected it to get anywhere. I've bought him plane tickets, helicopter rides, took him to Niagara, and just recently met up with him in NYC [where he now works] for a night of fun I regret, because of all the feelings it's brought up.

I don't even know what he's feeling but I keep thinking about him. You don't bring feelings up when it's a fling.
I'd never leave my husband for him, and in a way I barely know him besides what we do in bed.

I need help, to stop wondering.

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