Thinking About Killing My Husband
I have a new boyfriend, but I am still married to a j*** who says he will take me to court for custody of our two sons if I leave him for Steve, my boyfriend.
Since my husband is being such a p****, I have been thinking about ways of killing him. I thought about asking Steve, who was a Marine, and has a gun collection, if he would shoot Steve, but to my surprise macho marine Steve was too chicken.
Then I thought about hiring a professional hitman. But, I remembered from watching crime shows that cops pose as hitmen and people have been arrested when they contacted the cop they thought was a hitman. So I gave up on that plan.
I thought about poisoning my husband, a little bit at a time. But, I saw on those crime shows how most of the women who poisoned their husbands got caught when the autopsies revealed the poisons.
Then, Bingo!, I came up with a perfect crime idea. I am going to lie my husband and say I'm done with Steve. I will suggest to my husband we go on a second honeymoon vacation without our sons, a spot where there are high cliffs you can stand above. At the top of the cliff I'll pretend to kiss my husband and shove him off it and scream as if he fell.
When I tell the police my husband accidentally fell off the cliff, I will play the teary eyed, hysterical wife well enough to win a drama award.
Trust me, this will work.