I'm in love with my brother

He's my half brother, and we share the same mother, but I lived with my dad because my mom and him soon got a divorce, and when I was 3 I stayed with my dad for 9 years, and my dad died of cancer when I was 12. So I went back with my mom and met my brother. He's 17 and I'm 14.
I tried pushing the feeling away, but no matter how many times I try to find someone else to love in that kind of way, I can't. I'm terribly afraid to tell anyone, not even my closest friends. And I'm afraid I'll keep these feelings forever. Which is even sicker is that I'm also boy.

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