Need to grow up?

I admit that i'm immature. I'm 22 and was in a relationship with a beautiful girl. The only problems were she felt i was immature and didn't listen to her so, she told me that we're just friends now. And if i ever want to be with her again i'm gonna have to grow up.

MY whole problem is that i've seen ppl my age and what they like to consider "grown up" things. Many have to have a drink with alcohol, a smoke, and/or s** before they feel they are having a good time. Or i have to care and not care about certain things or else i'd bee deemed immature. i'm srry but WTF?

I'm just scared that if i do mature i'll lose who i am and just become dull like alot of "mature" ppl i've met in the name of maturity..But i do love her and would like to be with her to make her happy so...any advice, suggestions, etc?

Jul 16, 2012

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  • Really, I'm a sort of immature adult. I love cartoons, I don't have to party or drink alcohol or do drugs to have fun. But I think she just wants you to "listen" like you've said, and speak to her in a mature way which I think is just caring about what she says. Be interested in her interests, if she isn't interested in your interests or you feel like she just wants you to change completely, then maybe you should just find someone more like yourself.

  • stay a kid and join our club...there are millions of happy adult children to meet!

  • Wikipedia defines (partial definition) maturity as:
    Maturity is a psychological term used to indicate how a person responds to the circumstances or environment in an appropriate manner. This response is generally learned rather than instinctive, and is not determined by one's age. Maturity also encompasses being aware of the correct time and place to behave and knowing when to act appropriately, according to the situation and the culture of the society one lives in.

    The issues between you two can't all be about your level of maturity. Because you being a fun guy has to be something she finds endearing about you as well. That can't totally change, otherwise you won't be you.

    Women want men, not boys. She may be looking to you as a future husband/father and wants be sure that you can provide for a family. And if children are part of the plan, she probably wants to know that you won't be one of them.

    Being a kid at heart and knowing when to have fun is important. It's just as important as knowing when to be serious and prioritize your responsibilities. And not getting into trouble or doing stupid things that jeapardize your freedoms. It's about balance. Having wine with dinner doesn't mean you're more mature then someone else. Sometimes, it's knowing when not to drink.

    Advice.. Talk with her and communicate what you want - see if you are both on the same page for your future goals. Get your s*** together, not for her, but for yourself. If you're not on a career path, get on one. Men define themselves by what they do. Show her that you are ready for greater responsibilities in your life. Prove that to yourself. The best thing you said, is that you want to change to be with her. That's huge statement! That's a pretty mature decision to want to change. It's always a positive to want to make positive changes. Take an inventory of your's fun to have fun, but make sure that you're hanging out with people who are going places and support you.

    P.S. You will never be dull. And not every person you meet will be dull or mature. It's about finding people who are on your level and who you can relate to. That's the key.

  • cant have your cake and eat it too, think of an older person you know, now try to apply your attitude and behavior to that person. Tell me if you like the person you see. we all have to quit the "fun" things in life or you end up being burnt out way too early in life

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