I'm the Immature Baby of the Family

I'll admit it, I'm immature. For a long time now, I've been a slow boy growing up. My mom always knew that something was up. Mentally, it's like I'm four years behind everyone else. I would get along great with kids slightly below of my age range as a kid.

As a kid I was never successfully potty trained. My mom and Dad tried and failed with me too many times. I'm still in diapers. I was held back a year in school. My mom thought is was best to be around kids my own mental age. I never really outgrew the need for a booster seat.
I never really felt like the smartest kid in class, even more than most kids would. I was always the kid who spoke before thinking and ended up saying embarrassing thing. Eventually, my parents took me to a specialist and found out I was on the Autism Spectrum. It was an explanation, but not an excuse.

Meanwhile, things came easy for my sister In all of this, making friends and getting homework done. I didn't make any real friends till highschool. I wasn't as self-aware then as I am today. She thought all the time spent with mom made me her favorite. I may be four years older, but I feel she's more mature than me sometimes. She was the neurotypical one. She may have had her issues, like we all do, but I feel I was more of an issue than she was. Because of that, I called a brat. I would respond by trying to throw some digs at her. I would also hide some of her stuff. I threw tantrums over stupid things when I was younger. When ever my sister wanted her turn on the TV or the family computer.

I feel like my parents are just being nice because they have too. They'd stick up for me when my level of social skills start to show. Now I know some people are 'kids at heart,' but hindsight tells me I was too much of an immature kid. I guess I was just acting on my instincts. I had bad instincts.

At the moment I'm 22, and still living at home with my parents. I just don't want my autism as an excuse to be the way I am anymore. I'm just an award mess. Sorry if this felt all over the place, I'm just thinking out loud. I feel like I'm still the baby of my family.

Feb 13

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