True love, comes with true pain.

The love of my life recently passed away, my heart feels torn out and i cant help but feel empty. all i want is to have him back and i may never get that. i believe in the after life and the possibility of us being together there. the worst part is we had been broken up for a while for a good reason, while he was resolving a problem with his own self, but we always promised we would be together again. i regret not being there but i had no other choice. i hate myself everyday for not being there. the day before he passed away he called me and told me i was the love of his life, no one else, and one day we would be married. now i dont want anything with anyone but him, i cant stand the thought of going on without him by my side, i cant function, i still have this fantasy that we are together and we will get married, even worse hes the only one i get a sexual urge for, and that makes me feel sick. is this normal? someone tell me i'm not crazy.

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