I'm in love with a girl 20 years younger than me
I'm a 35yo guy. I know I'm going to cop alot of grief for this post, but I am totally smitten by a 15yo girl. Totally and utterly. Can't stop thinking about her.
Before you all start shouting pedo, sicko etc. I want to say that I'd never act on her sexually at that age - although I am sexually attracted to her (she is pretty - has wicked curves that mesmerize me, smart, talented, mature for her age, funny, has the perfect smile).
I feel even worse that I actually have genuine feelings for her. Why? Several reasons. First, I know that nothing will ever eventuate from it. Although I suspect she MIGHT have some feelings towards me (I know she respects me), I still feel that they'd never end up anywhere even if she did. This makes me feel like s***. Second, I work with her parents. Her mother has photos of her in her office, and talks about her to me all the time (drives me nuts). I could never betray their trust, since society teaches us all that loving someone that young when my age is wrong, right??? Third - even if I tried to act on it secretly, she is the type to talk to her mother about everything - once again confirming that I have no f****** chance.
I have erotic dreams about her (h***, I'm still a guy - and she is very attractive), but I also have dreams where all we do is embrace each other. I dream of our first kiss. I dream of protecting her from harm. I feel great while having them. When I wake up to reality, I once again feel like s***.
I see her sometimes, and whenever we chat is - for me - like I'm in heaven. Until it's time for her to go. I want her more and more. I have occasion to SMS her sometimes - even that puts a smile on my face, wel ike to make each other laugh. Every time her mother talks about her, shows me a photo of her, makes me want her more and more. Every. Fkn. Time.
I wish so much I can tell you that I love you... You already know I care about your feelings, but if only you knew to what extent!
In short, I'm f*****.