I finally blasted my MIL... and there's a custody battle

I currently have a restraining order against my husband. We cannot have any contact with each other. He lives with his parents, and I have been interacting with his parents about our four year old son's needs when he goes over there every other weekend.

However, every time I bring up an issue (like our son telling me that he was coughing all weekend because he was constantly around cigarette smoke), my mother in law flips out and starts calling me names and hurling all kinds of crazy accusations towards me... like accusing me of never taking our son to school (I take him every day unless he's sick) and accusing me of having guys from the internet living with me (ummm... my brother stayed with me for a month... but that's the only person that has even so much as spent the night). I don't say anything offensive to her... I just state the facts (like, "he said he was coughing all weekend because of the cigarette smoke", nothing more, nothing less) and if applicable I leave suggestions (like "if this happens again in the future, please call his pediatrician" when she gave our four year old medicine meant for a six year old based on her pharmacist's advice after already being told his pediatrician said absolutely no medicines besides Children's Tylenol without his prior approval).

Anyways, I finally lost it on her last night. I gave her the facts on the things she was accusing me of, said that would be the last time I was willing to do that, made it clear that I don't value her opinions on parenting because she was a terrible mother herself according to her son and loved ones, and told her if she starts that kind of crap again in the future I'm just going to ignore her like the rest of her friends and family have to do (she's pretty well known for going on fabricated tirades).

I'm kind of concerned though that her or my husband may bring my outburst out in court as a sign of mental instability. I don't really see how that could happen considering I've been dealing with these tirades of hers for three months now without ever saying anything nasty back, even though these tirades of hers prevents our son from getting the care he needs because she's so h*** bent on denying everything, being contrary (if I say he needs one thing she does the complete opposite and then attacks me if I say anything about it), and shifting the blame to me ("you're just putting false memories in his head" she says). What makes it worse is our son is just learning what to do in a sexual abuse situation (good touching/bad touching etc.), and he has indicated that my husband is sexually abusing him and when he tries to get help from his grandparents when it happens they just try to cover it up (yes, I've reported it, but child protective services is doing nothing about it).

It should also be noted I have had not one but two mental health professionals, one of which has treated me for over 4 years, give me a clean bill of health since my husband has been claiming in court that I'm mentally unstable.

Anyone know if this one outburst is going to hurt me in the long run?

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  • I was going to suggest that you meet your husband at a half way point to hand off your son each week, so then you don't have any contact with the grandparent. But since you have a restraining order against him, that will most likely not work. My other suggestion, always have a friend with you. Anything exchange that happens with the grandparent or your husband will then be documented. Perhaps record the conversation? Or ask that the grandmother come with you to a doctor's appointment so that the doctor can outline what kind of diet is needed for the child. Also, the smoking in front of the child needs to stop. She can ruin her lungs, not your child. I don't think the outburst will affect your case, you are human and they're being unreasonable. Consult a lawyer and go through all your options. That would most likely be your best course of action. The priority is your son. He can't be witness to all these adults fighting.

  • My husband is not caring for our child though, she is. He lives in her house and she makes all the rules. As it is he is the one that picks our son up from school every Friday, but once he is over there the only thing our son can tell me he does is play video games.

    She primarily communicates with me through Facebook. I call her, but she never calls me, just rants at me on Facebook. I've blocked all her Facebook accounts but she seems to just keep spawning more...

  • Our son is now on a special diet (gluten free), and she is refusing to go along with it, insisting that I'm lying about his pediatrician saying he needs to go on it and that I'm just going on things I looked up in Google. I'm considering getting a restraining order on our son's behalf against her... anyone think it will go through?

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