I love him ...i think
my ex and i were the perfect couple. i had hopes for us. we met up on a weekly basis. kissed and cuddled like any normal couple, texted each other continuously, had a kinky and romantic relationship. last time i met up with him he acted off,but i didnt want to say anything. when i got home i texted him and told him that i had noticed how he was acting. he replied with a 'sorry'. whenever a guy says 'sorry' it could only mean one thing. i played along, asking him why he's sorry to which he replied: 'im in love with someone else, have been ever since i met you. whenever i kissed and touched you, i imagined you to be her' at that moment my heart sank and i felt empty. i played cool and said 'its okay dw'. this wasnt the first time he had said something like that. (the first time we broke things off he got a new gf within days, and once that failed he ran back to me. i knew i was being used but i actually loved him and didnt care as long as i was in his life.) he hurt me several times. but i still forgave him, thinking that maybe this time he'd change. the worst thing is, he knew he was hurting me, yet he continued to do the things he did. i felt like a weak t***. couldnt say no to him. whenever he'd lie and say he 'loved' me i would forget about everything and start on a new slate. Jesus Christ was i a dumb t***. So anyways, once he told me that, i told myself that no matter what sweettalk came out of that boy i would never go back to him, and i didnt. yes i may have spoken to him once or twice, but nothing more.
i think ive moved on. im now in a relationship thats lasted a year. from time to time i miss my ex but that encourages me to make everything work this time round. the only thing that's making me doubt things is our religion and where we come from. im fine with it, but my parents arent. but i wont worry about that just yet.
my current bf is sweet and i actually think he likes me for who i am and not just my pretty face and body. from time to time he is controlling, but i fight back. we always have arguments but overall i think that makes us stronger. im happy now. thank you for loving that other girl whilst you were with me, you really did do something right for once. cheers M .