Crush on a girl older than I am

I'm a 14 yr old guy, and recently I've gotten involved in a local musical. Anyways, mostly college people were in the musical, but since I look like I could be 17-18 I fit in pretty well. Anyways, being the guy I am, I was enthralled to get to hang out around some college girls for cheap fun.

Things started to change though, when we got near to the performance. Its been almost half a year now, but I still remember this. I was walking along when this one girl (Who actually was around 19) complimented me on my outfit. I didn't think much of it, because by that time almost everyone had. Things were pretty normal, till after the first performance. As we were greeting the audience on their way out, the same girl walked up to me. She didn't say anything; she just locked eyes and smiled. She held it that way for a couple seconds, and I, being the dweeb I am, didn't know how to respond.

I didn't think much of it at the time, but once my adrenaline from the performance ran down I started thinking about that smile. I suddenly realized what a beautiful smile that was and that I had never had a girl smile at me like that before. I thought surely she knew I was younger than she was, or maybe she was just trying to give me a mental congratulations. I had been living a "romantic" life that consisted of nothing but quick, empty thrills. But the more I thought about that smile, the more I actually began to have genuine feelings for that girl.

On the night of the second and last performance, things seemed rather normal. I knew that I was bound for heartbreak; If I even got to know her, she would find out I was way younger than her and any feelings she had (If there even WERE any) would probably dissipate. During the intermission, I thought I caught her looking at me from the corner of her eye. I knew I had to do SOMETHING, or I would hate myself. I intended to say something: nothing huge, just a compliment like "I really like your outfit," "Looking good tonight," Or even at the VERY LEAST "Good job." But I didn't. Because I'm a freakin chicken. She graduates this year, and she will probably move away before I ever see her again. I still don't even know if she actually did like me. In closing, even though I'm beating myself up here, I think I have learned that 1. cheap thrills in life don't mean anything, 2. If you like someone, SAY SOMETHING. And 3. Try not to get a crush that is doomed to failure from the get go. Thanks for reading, I felt like I needed to say something to move on.

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  • Thanx 4 the lesson

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