Confession

Is it wrong to expect your boyfriend to stand up for you? because apparently mine says that defending people puts him out of his comfort zone so he do it, but who really does feel comfortable when defending someone else? like idk what this means.. I mean I previously had a problem with him and his best friend and he didn't defend me and asked me why couldn't I just defend myself? Advice please?

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  • I definitely get what you're saying it more of like we've had problems with his best friend and he would completely disrespect me to the point to where I would break down into tears out of anger and I would try and watch what I say because that is his best friend and I feel that some things are crossing the line. On the other hand his best friend says whatever he pleases and my boyfriend just watches it, and I got p***** and yelled at him for not sticking up for me and allowing his friend to treat me like this, being that I've done absolutely nothing for him to do this to me, but he simply resents me because my boyfriend now spends most of his time with me rather than his best friend. But my boyfriend basically said why can't I just stick up for myself? and said that he's trying to be fair to the both of us, but I think it's completely unfair. His mom also does the same thing and tells him what he can and can't do in our relationship and he doesn't say a word, or even she tried to tell me that her son can't move out with me until he graduates from college 7 years from now because he's going to be in medial school and he'll be 26 at that point, like I just don't get it. He even lets his brothers disrespect me. Don't get me wrong I do stand up for myself as well as for him to anyone that disrespects him or makes him feel uncomfortable in anytime of way, which is why I don't understand why he doesn't get as offended as I do with him with people disrespect him.

  • He should defend you, sounds like he's a weakling.

  • As a guy I'm of two minds on this. One the one hand I want to leap to your rescue, on the other hand I don't want to make it seem like I think you can't take care of yourself. Chivalry is wrestling with respect on this issue. Help your guy out by giving him some indication when you want him to step in and when you want to handle it yourself.

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