Aging Catholic Virgin

I have very limited relationship experience. I was not allowed to date until my 18th birthday and the week of my birthday I was hospitalized for a psychotic episode. By the time I finished high school my medication had made me gain 50 pounds. My self esteem was in the gutter so I didn't notice attention from guys in college. I finished college without ever dating. My first year out of college I had a busy start to my career. I went on some dates but then I had a second psychotic episode and gained another 50 pounds on medication and my self esteem took another nosedive. Now I find myself at 30 with no ex boyfriends, the 100 extra pounds I packed on and a history of mental illness. I'd like to date and get married sometime soon. Despite my weight, my features are fairly stunning, I'm wonderfully creative and my intellect is still dazzling. I still have lingering doubt about my attractiveness and desirability and my self esteem isn't fully recovered. Is my vision impaired to the possibilities for love around me? I spend too much time pitying myself...

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  • You said you have psychotic episode must be pretty serious if you have to go to the hospital . I think before you go looking for a man you need to make sure your taking your meds. and this might scare off some guys because if your a danger to yourself you could be a danger to others . Not sure if having children is something you want to do as it can be pass on to your children .

    My advise is get some therapy and work on yourself before you get involved with anyone .

  • Go exercise. Its that simple. Stop making excuses for yourself.

  • Yeah, thats helpful and considerate... Shows you really care

  • Nothing you told me about yourself would scare me away from a smart and creative girl I like to be around.

  • There is always someone whom will love you and die for you , but you must expose yourself to social groups , not bars , not idiots but good people . At the same time you can loose weight given the right reason and doctor,

  • Self pity is a nasty habit. Most people tend to shy away from people with that habit. The secret to attraction is the inner beauty of a person.
    Everyone likes to be around and with people that are uplifting and positive with a sense of humor. You should realize that you are exactly who you are supposed to be and you are wonderful and get up and make your descendants proud of you! They never intended to overcome all their obstacles and hardships just to have their bloodline seem weak and dependent on others pity. You have survivor blood running in you and you should overcome your self doubt and hold your head high because you are stronger than any problems you may face.
    Now get up and be a happy, strong woman.

  • You sound quite intelligent to me. Personally intelligence is more of an attractive quality than anything else. And everyone has insecurities, myself included, so I don't find someone with those more unattractive than others. I'm a bit too much of a social recluse to offer dating advice... i have no idea how people even "do dating" hahaha. But really you sound just fine to me from this limited view :>

  • I would love to date you. The self pitying would have to go though.

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