I think buying a MacBook made me gay
I've always used PCs but this time when I was up for a new laptop, I decided to give a MacBook Pro a try.
I've been in an Apple store before as I've owned a few iPhones but this was the first time buying something like a laptop from an Apple store. I didn't realize they put laptops in a bag that you can wear as a backpack. "It really is kinda gay and makes it easy for muggers to spot people to rob to. Talk about painting a target on your back.", I thought.
But I was happy to have my new laptop so I put the bag on my back like an idiot and headed back to my car. On the drive home, I noticed strange thoughts and feelings coming over me. It was subtle so I wasn't alarmed but it wasn't like anything I've experienced before. I put it out of my mind and focused on how great it would be to have a fast, new laptop.
15 minutes later, I was home and unpacking my new MacBook Pro 15" with eyeball screen (I think that's what it's called). $2600 well spent! I hit the power button and watched the Apple logo come on the screen. That's when it hit me...!
I had this sudden and nearly uncontrollable urge to put my p**** into another man's a***.
It's been a week since that day and the urge hasn't gone away. I've started talking in a higher pitch and developed a bit of a lisp.
It has to be the laptop. The MacBook Pro made me gay!