I have been secretly taking estrogen with the hope that it will feminize my body to a point where I am very androgynous, even overtly feminine. The problem with this is that my wife doesn't know about my hormones (she thinks I'm just gaining weight) and I know she wouldn't support it if I told her. I've been cross dressing ever since I can remember, maybe I was 5 when first wore some of my sisters underwear to summer camp. As a teenager I would lie in bed wishing to wake up a woman. My wife is a wonderful woman, and I love the life we're creating. I just wish I could love that life with the body I've always dreamt of.
I felt the need to confess my deception and my desire to become a woman. Both are eating at me daily. I know the right thing to do is talk with her about my feelings, but I'm scared of being rejected. So instead I just deceive her and continue to say I have no idea why my body is changing (which is becoming harder and harder to deny). I'm ecstatic about the change, but terrified about what it means for my future.