Help Me i Can't Take It Know More
I don't even know where to begin I am a Mexican kid who is 17 lives in the ghetto and has dreams of becoming a local cop one day just too help protect his community I have a dad who is the nicest person in the world to me and everybody I know. so is my mother but many times she can be mean to me calling me names like f***** and pu^yy which makes me really hater her but deep down I know I still love her I also had a brother that died not to long ago July 5 to be exact I miss him very much that there's is not one night that I don't dream of him it hurts so bad you guys that I can't function he was my big brother. it makes me mad at god sometimes because I ask him why did he take my brother away from me I loved him very much and god still hasn't answer. I also think I am a homophobic witch I don't want to be one because all I do is just m********* to gay videos or pictures and I tell god I am going to stop but all I just keep keep breaking my promise to him and even certain promise I make I tell him he can kill me in a painful way or even send me to h*** I just need help and do you think god will still forgive me after the 5,000,000,000 promise that I made over and over again.