How to talk?

I often post my feelings here because I feel like I cant really talk to anybody.
Today Im confessing something I had hoped I never would have to confess. But sadly here I am...

My dad is not well. The problem is he doesnt want to go and see the doctor.
There are several problems I know... or I feel... he suffers from.
First, he was never treated from PTSD. Its been 17 years since hes been back from military and seems like hes been dealing with it on his own. God knows we all suffered from it, but, he felt more comfortable not seeing a doctor so its okay.
Then, he is a heavy smoker. I know his lungs are not okay, because of his heavy smoking habits, but he just doesnt want to quit.
Then he has got some bumps all over his body. It looks like a swollen glands. The biggest one is on his neck and the others are a lot smaller. The biggest one is a size of a golf ball. It affects him in a way that sometimes he has pain in his arm or so.
Then, he has headaches. Sometimes he stays up all night because he cant sleep because of a headache. Pills dont help anymore.
And perhaps the last thing on this list: he started having stomach pains. He once said that he feels like his gizzard is twisted and that his liver feels swollen. He cant eat because of pain and he takes pills for pain.
He doesnt wanna see doctor. I dont know how to talk about it with him. I wish I could just shut off and not feel anything. But knowing hes hurting is hurting me too. I cry my eyes for him. Please someone anyone tell me what to do... how to do it??? I beg you...
I wish he knew how I felt. I wish he gets better.

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  • I'm sorry that you're in this tough situation. Keep posting since it makes you feel better.

  • It takes a lot of courage for you to share your story with the world. You are in a great state of worry and panic over your father wellbeing. You are trying to save his life by helping me go to the doctor. Your father is probably being stubborn by refusing to go to the doctor because he may not want to the news on his condition from the smoking. As for the PSTD, this is a tough one. He probably does not want to get help because it he may view it as a sign of weakness. He may want to do everything on his own by being independent. Perhaps, he can talk about his mental condition with someone he is close to, such as yourself. Or, maybe, he can speak to preacher or deacon at church, if your family goes to church. The reason I say church because you mentioned God in your statement. I know you want your dad to get well. I hope this message finds you well during this difficult time in your life. Best wishes.

  • A lot of people fear doctors or fear a potentially devastating diagnosis. But it does sound like if his pain gets much worse,he may have to be taken by ambulance and it will no longer be his choice. Would it help if you and/or your mom went with him? Would he go if you make the appointment? Sometimes making that call is even more difficult than going. Does he have a medical plan and a doctor chosen? I'm sorry you're going through this. All you can really say is that you love him, you don't want to see him in pain and you're willing to help him get the help he needs. And ask him to allow you to help him.

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