How to talk?
I often post my feelings here because I feel like I cant really talk to anybody.
Today Im confessing something I had hoped I never would have to confess. But sadly here I am...
My dad is not well. The problem is he doesnt want to go and see the doctor.
There are several problems I know... or I feel... he suffers from.
First, he was never treated from PTSD. Its been 17 years since hes been back from military and seems like hes been dealing with it on his own. God knows we all suffered from it, but, he felt more comfortable not seeing a doctor so its okay.
Then, he is a heavy smoker. I know his lungs are not okay, because of his heavy smoking habits, but he just doesnt want to quit.
Then he has got some bumps all over his body. It looks like a swollen glands. The biggest one is on his neck and the others are a lot smaller. The biggest one is a size of a golf ball. It affects him in a way that sometimes he has pain in his arm or so.
Then, he has headaches. Sometimes he stays up all night because he cant sleep because of a headache. Pills dont help anymore.
And perhaps the last thing on this list: he started having stomach pains. He once said that he feels like his gizzard is twisted and that his liver feels swollen. He cant eat because of pain and he takes pills for pain.
He doesnt wanna see doctor. I dont know how to talk about it with him. I wish I could just shut off and not feel anything. But knowing hes hurting is hurting me too. I cry my eyes for him. Please someone anyone tell me what to do... how to do it??? I beg you...
I wish he knew how I felt. I wish he gets better.