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Get Her Pregnant?
So my kids mom is going to be 30 this summer.I already have 2 sons with her, who are now toddlers.She and I have never really gotten along for the last 6 years that we have known each other. We have joint custody of the sons and we do our best to be civil and get by.She is the one who did not want me after the kids were born saying am too old for her,though she says I give her the best **. In any case,the youngest son is now 4.She found out, the other day,that her friend is pregnant, with her 2nd child. She started texting me,from the friend's house-I believe,that her biological clock is ticking and she wants another baby, or possibly twin girls.I told her there are plenty of men to give her twins.She said she will consider adopting even a relative, so that she can avoid pregnancy and labor pains, and I asked her if she had looked at the adoption costs online,which she checked and got shocked. When I got up today,I decided this: as awful and mean as she has been to me,I am going to meet with her and propose getting her pregnant for up to 2 kids.I KNOW SHE WILL SAY YES. My reasoning is this;When I first me her,she never wanted,and I don't want her, to have kids from two different men.I feel its bad for our sons.If she has kids from someone else,I don't want to have to pick mine up, for visitation, and leave the other ones behind,but I also don't want to take another guy's kids with me either.This is partly because I don't want to explain that to my sons,and also she does not like my grown kids from a previous marriage.She is hard working and getting to be an ok mother,though she will never be a wife to me.Please tell me what you think and feel. Sorry its so long.Thanks.
The erosion of families is a large part of what's wrong with this country: children grow up without a stable horizon and without the simultaneous support and discipline of two parents. Don't have any more children with a woman you don't like well enough to live with. Is that the message that you want your kids to have? That you don't have to love someone enough to live with them, and yet it's acceptable to plan a family with them?
UPDATE. I met with my kids mom tonight at her apt and explained my position to her.I specifically asked her not to give me an answer either way tonight.I did let her know that since its her body,I cant tell her what to do with it,how,or with who and when. She said nothing while I was explaining.When I finished,we were quite for few minutes.She seemed shaken but calm and collected. I have no clue what she is gonna do and whatever she does is fine with me because,I have no control over her body or choices and I have done my part.I will never ask her what she has decided or try to beg her to select me(as a matter of fact I have no clue if she has a guy or not).It is what it is.
Just the premise that you actually think that you can give her twins and have them be both girls is laughable. What do you think ..that like magic..you're going impregnate her and also select the gender and number of babies? Seriously? You two shouldn't have any more children together. The fact that you two are barely getting along impacts your children. You want to set an example to your children, show them how you and your ex get along. Those kids will notice that more than anything. You can't control who she's with. Someday, you both will find other partners..and any kids will deal with it. The bigger deal you make of it, then the kids will see that. Right now, you're showing your kids that it's okay to have ** and not be married and have as many kids as possible. This reasoning and thinking are fine examples of why you two shouldn't be together and should stop procreating all together.
I may not have explained the twins part right-she wants to adopt twin girls and also thinks that her next child will be a girl. I don't think I ever will be able to guarantee anybody a child of a certain **.I know that our inability to get along impacts our children.I also know that if she happens to have children with someone else,the children will be affected similarly or worse. I appreciate your observation greatly.
You should get her pregnant. Better you than somenother guy but make sure you guys have and make a lot of money because you know kids arent cheap.
-Honey
We are not rich but we are able to support our kids to the best of our abilities as there is no child support involved at the moment.Thanks much.