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I am lost
I am a 40 year old loser. I am completely lost. I have no girlfriend, no wife, no children, no family. Barely any friends. I have a crappy dead end job. I live in a basement apartment. I am beyond pathetic. I have a college degree and have to pay off the loans with my measly salary. I have a crappy car. This is not where I pictured I would be at my age. I don't even have any interest in finding a decent job or choosing a career. I am terrified of change. I don't have many plans for the future. I used to suffer from depression but it's just turned into apathy. I want so desperately for someone to love me and actually care about me but I don't do anything to try to find someone. Besides who would want a loser like me anyway? Oh I also have a micropenis. I am pathetic.
Lol. Well it's always easier to give advice than to take it, right? Good for you for putting yourself out there! Don't feel rejected when they don't reply. It's so easy to say..what's wrong with me? But nothing is wrong with you. It's them. Consider it a blessing. They aren't right for you and it's their loss. What about some of the women who contacted you..totally not willing to even try? I get you have to be attracted to someone, but sometimes it could be worth it to give someone a chance. I mean you could just meet over coffee. I say this because I met my bf through a friend of a friend, and I didn't think anything of him. I actually thought he was sort of annoying. He was just not my type. But he asked for my number and convinced me to meet for coffee. I thought the worse that would happen is that I will have gained a new friend. Now what I thought was annoying is endearing. lol. So, you never know. The micropenis.. you know I get that it's something that makes you insecure. I guess for guys it really is different where your member is concerned. I think you have to approach it as if you're with a woman, she's going to like you, for you. And there are so many other things you can do stimulate a woman. We also look for other things as well. And if a woman leaves you because of that, then she is obviously someone you don't want to be with. I know it's not that easy. But trust me, women are insecure as well. And we have things that we don't want you to see or know about and can't change. Sometimes if you call attention to something, it makes that so much worse than it really is.
You, I'm better at giving advice than following it, lol. But again, yes everything you said is good advice. The truth is that I don't have a hole lot of "dating" experience. Even just putting myself out there was hard. I was totally willing and ready to meet the one person who contacted me who I would have gone out with (even though I wasn't attracted I just wanted to prove to myself that I could do it) but she came up with an excuse at the last minute. I know it's a game. The whole dating scene is a game and for someone like me it's really rough. Insecure is an understatement. I've told myself everything you said from a woman's perspective-if she's really into me she will look past it. but still, the fear is there. But I am trying. good thing are happening for me. I finally got a new apt one which isn't so dumpy. Maybe better things will happen socially for me now too. I know women are insecure, too but year when that area is concerned for guys, it's really tough. Like I'm carrying this little secret (pun intended). But if someone is into me I'll give it a chance. I've gotten this far. I've had relationships in the (distant) past. I'm happy you gave your bf a chance & things worked out. I can tell you are a wonderful person just by writing to me-an anonymous total stranger on the inter, and giving me advice. your bf is lucky to have you. Maybe one day I'll get lucky and find the right woman for me. I hope!
Congrats on the new apartment! That's exciting. New place, new you, new outlook :-). You're right, things are coming together for you. Don't even dwell on how much dating experience you have or don't have. Everyone is different and you don't have to justify that to anyone. I've done the online thing. I get it. It's painful, humorous and fun..all rolled together. It's hard to put yourself out there. Dating is really like looking for a job. Eventually you get hired. Don't worry about that one girl and don't think that she gave you an excuse because she didn't like you. She could also be super insecure and was afraid of what you were going to think..it's on to the next. You will get lucky. Just stay positive, even when you're not feeling it. Trust me, I know it's hard. We're always hardest on ourselves. I have to say one good thing about getting older is that you begin to care less and less what others think. You're very kind. And I'm glad I could help a little. I totally get being stuck..it's hard. Great things are coming your way. All those doubting (maybe, hopefully) and negative (can't, won't, no) words, take out of your vocabulary. And you will get lucky, believe that. You deserve it. Post here again for updates :-)
Thank you again. I will post any updates here. It's true, with age comes the realization that what other people think doesn't really matter. The only person's opinion who is ever truly going to matter is our own. I will keep putting myself out there (hard as is it). Once I get settled in my new apartment I'll dive headlong into it. Just moving into a new and hopefully better place is a big change. I will make change happen. I hope only good things happen for you too! You are the one who is kind ;)