I am truely sorry about the abuse
I have been married to the same man for 32 years, He has been a good provider and most of the time a very understanding person. However he is locked into our marriage, He was forced to take a guardianship on me by the state just about the second he discharged from the Navy. If you know haw this works he has to remain married unless my mother or sister will take it, Which they wont. I am bi polar.
I feel into a belief that my husband was a total j*** before his discharge, I was living at his fathers home the six months prior his discharge. There was no need for me to stay at his duty station because he was serving the last six months at sea.
I had really not seen him but once for fifteen minutes one thanksgiving in three and a half years, When he was discharged he was handed a storage shed key and had to arrange to get everything moved, That took four days. Then he was supposed to get a flight home but was put on standby and the next flight was four days away he could get, so he traded his ticket in and rented a horizon and drove 16 hours to get home to his fathers house, Where I was. He got such a nice welcome when he arrived, my door was locked, there was a note on the front door telling him to take the sofa. This was 4:00 AM I think he finally dropped off at around 5:30, The next thing I heard was around 7:00 his father yelling at him to get into HR at his old job and get reinstated. I heard my husband say the contract allows for 30 days between effective date of discharge which was yesterday and his return to work, They had given him all pay and allowances to date which amounted to 7000.00. He said I intend to go someplace with my wife for at least a two week period then get moved into an apartment or house, after all I have not had a day off in almost four years. His father flew through the roof and said you will get your lazy rear into HR today, I wanted to go out and say lets go, but his father said the day before he was coming home in a bad way from exhaustion, he could not get even a few days off or he would expect it so my husband was pushed out the door in his uniform and discharge papers in hand. The company he worked for put him right to work on second that day, It was 12 hour shifts right off the bat. he was gone until 4:00 am again, his father said I had to do something before I resumed my roll as his wife, he said please just observe what he does, He came home beat the next morning to the same arrangement. Again yanked out at 7:00 His father was trying to shove him out the door to find a place to live when my husband put his foot down hard. He told his father he wanted to see me right now, said this was Tuesday and he had had nothing but coffee for four days, and I was going to look at places with him. His mother knocked on the door I was already dressed and said things were getting a little hot you better come out, His father was screaming he had no time for this he was sure I would like what he picked out, I did resent that, My husband never saw the first apartment after we were married, all he knew of living quarters was a 3x3x6 space for the last four years and I don't think it was that big really.
His father stormed off yelling he was not being what he should be and me and his mother served him a breakfast then we left, his youngest brother and sister came out to say hello, then we went to look at places he had looked in the paper for, he came home the next morning again to the same thing. This time he was awake before his father, and came to my door and knocked on it and told me to get ready, we cut out before his father said a word. I could see how tired he was and he said he put his bump in for days the night before, I was not raised around a union so I just thought it was a shift transfer, We selected a farmhouse a little over ten miles away, to this east coast girl the wide expanse of scenery was a little frightening, But it was quiet. We laid the first and last and damage deposit down and went back to his fathers house to call the movers, he gave them the address and way to get there and went to work expecting to move in Friday. When he came home the next morning There was a development the previous evening, The girl my husband was bumping came over and cried on my father in laws shoulder about how she had to stay on days for her daughter, Just crying about if there was some influence that could be bought to bear on my husband to stay on 2nds. Jis father yanked him out screaming about bumping that poor girl off days, what kind of man was my husband, in his dry way he said tired and he did not want to stay on seconds, Its to bad she has less senority than I do but she is under the same contract, This is what my father in law wanted me to see, and he called me in, it was something I really did not want to do but I told my husband until he demonstrated he could compromise there was not going to be any marital relations.