Husband Upset about My Past

I have been married for almost two years to a lovely guy. We have been 100% faithful since getting married. We met at work, and we're both 24. Our marriage has been for the most part strong, although we recently have gone through a little bump.

Last week we were watching TV together, and the subject of threesomes came up. He asked me if I ever had been in one. I admitted that I had, back when I was single. I even admitted that it was with a couple of guys with the company for which we work, although I'm no longer friends with them. What I didn't tell him was that sometimes these sessions would be foursomes, as one of the guy's girlfriends would join in. We were simply young and having fun experimenting with s**.

My husband is a very conservative guy, and I could tell that he was upset that I ever could have been so casual with s**. I think he is bothered by the fact that he knows the guys in question. My husband was a virgin when we started seeing each other, and I think he might be jealous of the s** that I've had before him, although he won't admit it. In recent days he has made some repeated off-hand comments about it, when it should have been a dead topic, IMO. He just won't let it go.

I shouldn't have said anything, but it is done.

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  • Wow, I almost totally forgot about this post but I am the OP and I figured I'd give you all an update. Well unfortunately our marriage soured horribly in the weeks and months after I told him about this. He kept pressing for more information about my threesomes and I broke and told him everything, from the foursomes to the fact that yes, I was still seeing these guys for the first few months my husband and I were dating. After he heard this he completely lost it and shut down on me. Our s** life was completely destroyed and any and all forms of intimacy was rejected by him. He began calling me a s*** and that if he had known this about me prior to meeting him, he would have never had anything to do with me. Needless to say, this hurt a lot. I tried to be apologetic and reassuring that I loved him and that the s** can get better with time, but to no avail. I offered everything from counseling to even a hall pass for him so he could experience other women, all of which he said no to. Thing's steadily got worse and the fights continued so finally one day after his constant shaming I had enough and told him that I couldn't take it anymore. I asked if he wanted a divorce and he said that would be the best thing I could ever do for him and that I should just go back to being a s*** with my old friends. Our divorce was finalized in Feb. 2016. Since then he has gotten remarried to a lovely woman who I believe truly fit's his standards and I have remained single with no intention of remarrying as I'm concentrating on myself and furthering my education for a new career field. I realized that not only did we marry too young, but we never really got to know each other to where we could both make a conscious decision to continue seeing each other. We were just two very different people. One thing is for certain, someone who is a virgin or sexually inexperienced will be an automatic deal breaker for me. Have a nice day everyone.

  • You are not the OP, because I'm the OP. We're still together btw. Stop answering on other people's posts as the OP.

  • Let me add that if you're the real skim shady, I truly hope that your husband knows the full truth about you. Like I said, if you're the OP, prove it and provide an update.

    If you are the OP, I bet you deny your husband the s** acts that you let those other guys perform don't you? If so then you're an even bigger piece of s*** than I thought. If I was your husband I would have divorced you.

  • You are the OP? Prove it. Give us an update on how this all turned out. I can't believe you're still together btw.

  • Well OP, what did you expect from this? Did you expect him to just be ok with knowing that he married just another disposable w****? Your past caught up with you and bit you in the butt. This right here is why slutty women need to end up with playboy's and not conservative virgin guys. Your ex husband deserved better and looks like he finally found someone who truly suit's him, which definitely isn't you.

  • I see that this post was made years ago but I'll give my two cents here.

    OP, if you think that your husband's jealousy and resentment towards you is just going to fade away, you got another thing coming. His jealousy will only get worse and he will grow to resent you even more because now he knows that he missed out. He's in torment constantly thinking of all the nasty thing's you and these guys did with each other. No amount of reassurance on your end will make it go away. I can promise you this, despite his conservative attitude, he will wonder what else is out there and curiosity will get the best of him and he'll start cheating on you just out of spite and to fulfill his desires. If you think he's going to remain faithful, I got some ocean front property in Nebraska I'd like to sell you.

  • Wow, you sound like a real piece of trash OP.

    *"We have been 100% faithful since getting married."*

    Key word "since getting married". So it sounds like you were having threesomes and foursomes with these people when you and your husband were still dating and possibly even engaged.

    I that's the case then if was your husband I'd be divorcing you like, yesterday. You obviously have zero morals and view s** so casually, no wonder your husband is angry and hurt. Your past alone would be a deal breaker for me.

    Do your husband a favor and leave him so he can find someone worthwhile and more like him, because you obviously are not. After that's done, go back to being the s*** you are.

  • I think your husband realised that he married the wrong girl. Personally I don't see how you two ended up as a couple.

    I'm willing to bet money that OP and her husband aren't together anymore.

  • You two sound completely incompatible and never should have gotten together in the first place. This is why people like you need to disclose this kind of stuff before getting serious. That way he could have made a judgement call on whether to stay or go. My guess is your husband NEVER would have married you if he knew beforehand and you knew that. You cheated him out of the chance to be with someone who actually shares his morals and now he feels that he got duped into marrying just another lowlife s*** instead of a virgin girl that he could truly share intimacy with. IMO, your marriage is in the beginning stages of divorce because he will never get over this and it will just continue to plunge your relationship into nothing but anger and resentment. His perception of you has changed forever and it's best for you two to go your separate ways.

  • It kinda sounds like she was seeing these guys while her and her husband were dating. Either way if I was in her husband's shoes, I'd probably leave as she sounds like just another disposable w****.

  • You want to know what should be done IMO, allow your husband to set up a threesome with two tinderellas and you even offer to sit and watch him f*** these girls. Even Steven. And if you're marriage ends either way, do your next husband a favor. Do not EVER mention you had a threesome in the past. If he asks you say "Nope, never done it". Let that episode in your life be truly dead and forgotten. You're right, you never should have mentioned it because now he's going to want to even the score.

  • Now you've opened a can of worms you don't want to see or smell. Your husband is going to cheat on you, count on it.

  • This is a tough issue for any man. Finding out that his wife was doing things like that before him. OP if you read this beware, I can guarantee you that he is wanting to even the score by cheating on you, especially by arranging a threesome or two with random women to feel like if you could do it then he could too. If anything, to please him, have you two do a threesome with another woman so that he can experience what you had before him and that way it'll be a done deal. If you refuse, then be prepared for the harsh reality of him cheating on you multiple times.

  • What you've done is changed his perception of you he doesn't view you as the same person he thought he knew and what he sees now he doesn't like

  • You cant unscramble an egg,the dammage is done now its a wait and see

  • That was a big mistake on your part ,and he knows these guys wow. This could be real trouble!

  • This is a tough relationship issue... I can relate and give you his perspective or what he is thinking or feeling. My guess is that you shattered the "idea or image" that he had about you as a person and his girlfriend or wife. This happened to me but was much worse situation wise. But you guys are married so this creates another problem because walking away isn't as easy. So you can work thru it but you should have really talked and gotten to know each other better before getting married. Marriage is a big thing. Its not the end of the world but its not great either. The thing I would stress is Be Honest and don't hold things back because when girls do this and many, many, many, do, all it does is create a long time period of thinking that you know someone and then when you find out the truth about them you go back in your mind and think what else was not true and then you wonder do you really even know whats true or not. If your honest at least it will all be out there for you guys and him to make a decision about your marriage and or how to work thru it. But I'd say be honest as soon as possible especially while this issue is still recent. Nothing worse than trying to go thru or remember truth after so many years of lies or omitted facts. When I found out the truth or some of the truth about my gf of many many years 7. It crushed me. It really destroyed me and I never recuperated and never got any peace about our relationship. She easily moved on to have kids and make a home with someone else but it was easy for her since she had no questions about anything regarding us. Some people don't care or consider other peoples feelings or lives and its just not a good thing or nice thing to do. Why so many unhappy people out there and so little hope. Bad experiences kill peoples souls. I can speak because I'm one of them. Your husband is very hurt because he didn't expect nor think that you were like that probably.

  • Might want to build up his ego. tell him that he is the best you have had, true or not. Tell him the diff between s** and making love. That might help some.
    I had a very extensive s** life when I married my ex and my wife now. I chose to not tell either of them about my past. They knew for sure I had experience, wondered just how much. I had been paid to preform at an orgy, had been paid to do a few older women. Neither needed to know that part of my life.
    Men have big ego's and want to be the best you have.

  • What did you guys talk about before you got married ? These are things you all should of talked about when dating .
    Glad you told the truth especially if your husband works with them this could of been worse if one of the guys told him about the 3 some . I think you should of told him the 4 some now that he knows he may ask them questions and find out you had a 4 some .

    I think he's more p***** that you had it and he never did , who knows maybe he might ask you if you would like to try it again with him , I would say yes this way he can experience it and get it out of his system .

  • Your boy is immature. You should expect that from him since he did not get any prior to you. If he cant get over it. Ask if it make him feel better to have a 3sum with you. The sad part is he probably isnt even f****** you correctly. As you did not even mention s** with him in your comnent. Sucks because a woman like you deserves sexual forfilment. I bet you think about s** before him all the time. Correct?

  • He'll get over it. Why? Because you gave all that up . . . FOR HIM!

  • Oh please, like that makes it all better.

  • It isn't that simple.

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