I HATE Not Believing in God

I lost my faith in God, and religion in general, around two years ago. I had been a believer all my life and was very happy.

But I learned too much. I saw too much evidence to deny evolution and an old Earth. I saw all the suffering caused by God's indifference and suffering caused directly by him in the Bible.

I soon started to not like God at all. And soon lost my belief in him all together. When I moved away to college I stopped going to church. I very tearfully and gut-wrenchingly confessed to myself that I was no longer a believer. It hurt so much, but I finally felt more free than I've ever felt in my life!

But soon after, a few months after, I started to miss believing in God. Or rather, I missed believing in the God that I thought was the god of the Bible. Reading the Bible is pretty much what destroyed my faith. Because I saw that the god I believed in was NOT the god of the Bible!

The god I believed in was kind, caring, thoughtful and loving. The god of the Bible is cold, uncaring, a liar, a murderer, and a sadistic sociopath.

Despite all this. I miss my god. The god I loved before I learned the truth. I miss him so much. Like a dead best friend or family member.

Even worse is none of my former church friends or my family know about my loss of faith. My mother thinks I don't go to church any more just because of me being busy with school. I don't have the heart to tell her that I never want to go to church ever again, because I see it as a colossal waste of time to worship and to beg favors from a god that doesn't care about us anyway. But I could never tell her. My mother is such an amazing person and I could never hurt her heart like that!

I wish I had never picked up my Bible. Ignorance truly was bliss.


  • newest
  • oldest
  • most replies
  • most popular
  • You just woke up to harsh reality when you discovered reason. I'm an atheist and I have been since before age ten. When you comapre science to religion or even comparing common sense to religion you'll find religion is very much nonsense. Life is short. You woke up. Don't go back to dreamland.

    There is no after life.

  • Since there is no afterlife, you've decided to spend your one life insulting those who believe in one? What a c***

  • I feel sorry for you. A sadness.

    It seems to me on the one hand you say that you don't believe in God and then on the other you talk about the suffering caused by God's indifference or the suffering caused directly by him. That seems odd logic.

    It seems to me that God does not desire to be a overt controlling God but that many people wish for God to be more visible. Then they get resentful that he seems distant.

    To me the bible talks about love in the context of what we are called to do. But also there are stories of God taking major action and people are killed. That seems harsh in todays anything goes feel good society.

  • I also ended up rejecting Christianity for similar reasons. Any being who reportedly says things like masters should be allowed to beat their slaves since the slaves are their property (Exodus 21:20-21) is monstrous or unthinkably clumsy in its communication (either characteristic demonstrates the Bible was not inspired by a perfect, benevolent being).

    My family doesn't know either, and it hasn't really caused any problems since I'm now living away from them and don't have to go to church. (I haven't believed in any god for five years now.) If it ever came down to it and you decided to tell them, it would probably take some time before they learned to accept it. If you also explained your reasons, it would probably make it more understandable. But don't worry about that for now if you don't have to.

    Everybody has different experiences when they ultimately reject their previous religious convictions. I've never needed to use it, but perhaps the group called "Recovering from Religion" could help you.

    In my case, I'm so much happier now than when I was a Christian. Thinking that you're lower than dirt and constantly pleading for salvation from h*** was really a downer in addition to being complete nonsense.

    It's probably a matter of time before you'll be able to modify your lifestyle and manner of thinking to better fit your new understanding of reality. Remember that the truth is what it is, and not what someone wants it to be. And lastly, everything's the same as it was before, just minus the god part.

  • Jesus said, I am the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIFE...no one comes to the Father but by Me. You never knew the God of the bible and clearly are on your way to the most dangerous of all positions to be in...that of refusing to believe what the Word says is true concerning the Creator of all mankind. No one has the right to question our Maker. He is supreme and all knowing. Accept Jesus Christ before it is too late.

  • Refuse to believe anything without evidence and beware those who claim to have all the answers but don't tolerate any questions.

  • The whole "Science OR God" option is a farce. It's a modern creation. Darwinism and religion went hand-in-hand for the first 100 years it (Darwinism) existed. It wasn't until the 1960s anti-establishment movement that agenda-driven people began creating this fake option - that you have to choose one or the other.

  • God exists in the hearts and minds of those who believe in Him. The reason the God you believed in, and the one your friends and family believe in, is so different from the one described in the Bible is because you are all good, decent people and the God you created reflects that. He is a symbol of the best in all of you and the kind of people you aspire to be. Maybe you can't believe there's an actual, literal God but maybe you CAN believe in the concept of God, in what it means that a kind, loving, just God is the one people choose to worship.

Account Login
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?