Addicted to cutting?

I think I am addicted to cutting. I don't know if I'm depressed or anything but when I feel down I mentally tell myself off for being a bad person then cut myself but recently I don't even need to feel that down, I just do it. Like today was a pretty good day for me. I was actually pretty happy! I did feel a little guilty tho but I'm still in an ok mood. Am I bi-polar? Idk what's wrong with me. I get anxiety attacks I know because I've had them for a number of years for various reasons I won't go into. I'm 15 btw if age changes anything. I know I hate myself and I frequently wonder why others like me or at least pretend. I like to be alone but I've always been one to be by their self. I'm trying to figure out how I can be sad and happy. I don't think I have depression because sometimes I am happy, though I may feel a little guilty afterwards

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