I want to be spanked

I have frequent cravings to be spanked. I have had this urge since I was a child. My mom used to spank me and although I hated it, sometimes I had this weird feeling that I wanted it. Sometimes I would do bad things so that she would. As I got older, I liked to see movies that had spanking scenes or books that had whippings in them. I never told anyone.

Now I'm an adult and the urge has not gone away. I write spanking stories and watch videos of women being paddled. It makes me throb with jealousy and need. On the outside I seem perfectly normal, very boring and conservative actually. No one who knows me suspects that I have these weird fantasies. There is just something in me that craves punishment and it won't go away.

I just really want to meet someone who is man enough to sweep me off my feet ---- and bend me over for a good paddling. I want to be spanked to tears. I want to feel my ass grow hotter and hotter until it gets too hot for me to sit down. I don't want to play silly games with chains and gags and things like that. I just want to be made to bend over for the longest paddling of my life.

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  • I can relate to this a little. When I was at school we used to get the cane. It was painful and I used to think to my self you stupid ass why did you do whatever it was that I had been caught doing. Then I would get the cane and it would really hurt but then after there was this strange feeling of relief.

    I guess I developed a fetish or a yearning for pain. I tried to get my wife to spank, cane, whip me but she does not like the idea and it is not hard enough. She has often said to me to go find someone to do this with.

    I understand your desire. To not be in control. To cry out. There is a freedom in a weird way. So sometimes. Just occasionally I will visit a "dominatrix" and they will tie me to a bed and cane or whip me. I go through stages of fanaticising about it. Then when I am tied down and struggling with the pain I think I am a stupid messed up idiot. It is a huge relief to cry & scream out. I contract with them to not stop no matter how much I beg or cry out. It is unbelievably painful and sometimes I have no idea how many lashes I will receive. I beg and cry and plead and the pain keeps coming. Then when it is over there is this clarity. A feeling of alertness. Like standing on the top of a mountain or the bow of a sailing boat with a cool fresh breeze on your face on a warm sunny day. A feeling of achievement. At the same time its a love hate thing. I sometimes feel stupid and vow to myself never to do it again but time passes and I start thinking about it and eventually I pick up the phone and make a booking.

    Weird hey.

    (I am not in anyway condoning non consensual activity of any sort. Just to be clear on that! )

    So maybe we can meet up and I can spank you. :)
    No idea how to meet up. I live in Australia but I travel.

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