I've never wanted my best friend to be

I've never wanted my best friend to be happy.
It's ridiculous, but I would always get this bittersweet pleasure whenever she didn't get something she wanted.

Though, when she gets the boys [and believe me, they keep coming], I'd always feel so...unsatisfied.
I always wish my friends would hate her, because she's far more fun than me. The only reason why they'd hate is because she's not a very good friend. She's notorious for stealing boys and being a "w****" [although, I would never call her that], and banging up trusts.
It's crazy, but I had to get it out there.

Call me a bad person.
A bad friend.
I do her no wrong.
I just think wrong.
And I am already ashamed of that.

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  • Sounds like you have a little bit of jealousy and insecurity. Maybe try to make some other friends and not spend so much time around this one? Because you're going to end up hating her if you let it get to you.

  • I honestly don't know.

    Tell her how I feel?
    I hate keeping this from her.
    But I don't want to lose our friendship. I still value it.
    Now she's turning into this completely different person.
    I valued the friendship we HAD, not the one that's based on our past, and is hanging by a few threads.
    I wish I knew what TO do.

  • Wrong thinking leads to wrong behavior, if you think about it long enough. The fact you stated how you feel is good, you're being honest. Now, what are you going to do about it?

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