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I'm lonely
I feel so empty...
It's really hard for me to relate to others, to carry on a conversation and to form relationships with others. I don't know why I'm this way, but I always have been this way. I don't have much to add to a conversation so I always keep the focus on the other person and what they're saying. I think most people appreciate this, but probably find me hard to get to know as I don't volunteer information as they do. I wish I had a couple of friends that were close to me. I have a few friends that I see every month or so, but I'd almost call those relationships acquaintances. I wish I had never been born. I try to reach out, going so far as to resorting to the internet to meet others, but like I said those are more of an acquaintance type situation. I wonder what the next 60 years of life will be like... I hope I don't live that long. I'm not suicidal, it just wouldn't be tragic to die early. Living life in general is such an awkward experience for me. For some reason I just cannot wrap my mind around what the point of it all is. It's all kind of a waste really.
I totally feel the same way. It's super **, but like apparently everything works out eventually and things happen even when it feels like they aren't. Happiness will find you.
My advice would be to save up money and go backpacking in foreign countries by yourself. This way you are not dependent on anyone and you can still meet plenty of people and make friends if you wish to. It really builds confidenca and you get to know yourself.
I relate so much to what you said. I feel the same way. I'm probably older than you and can give one bit of advice. Most people are shallow and self centered. They won't really notice or care how much you share about yourself as long as you act like you're interested in what they say. I wish I knew what the point of it all is also but I don't. We have to make our own purposes, our own meanings. You have to make the best of life and life can be good if you make it that way. You don't need to always be around others to enjoy life. Some of life's best moments and experienced alone. Find some hobbies and things you're interested in and join groups to connect with others with common interests. This way you will have more to talk about when you have things in common.