I hate my father
Well this isn't really a confession, it's my life that only a few of my friends know about. So me, I'm a 14 yr old girl and I have a disabled younger sister. And a mum and a father that hates me. It started when my sister was born. I was 6 and he would blame me and tell me it was all my fault she was born like that. I would often cry and ppl would ask me what was wrong and I would wipe away my tears and say nothing. He lives my sister and always hugs and kisses her. I remeber I was home alone with her. I was 7. She then puked on the floor and I didn't know what to do so I just left it there. Then my father came home and he was really mad at me he called me all sorts of names like f****** b****** and stuff like that. He then strangled me and lifted me by my neck and put cushions in my face when I cried. I remeber even ehen I was 6 and played with my toys and made a mess he would punch me in my face till my nose and lips would bleed. He broke so many of my toys. Never with any apology afterwards. My mum was at a parents meeting at around that time and she spoke to the teacher who said I had difficulty concentrating. I had a few problems then with cutting and drawing and stuff but my mum didn't care. She pulled my ear and then there was a bleeding crack on it. I was so upset. I had noone to talk to. I remeber times when I closed the car boot to loud and he would just put the windows down and swear at me and drive off. I would have to walk home for an hour from the shops. Sometimes he would dig his fingetnails into my leg till I had deep blue grooves. I have had suicidal thoughts when I wrote a bad grade because he would scream at me so horribly.( I go to grammar school in 9th grade now.)This christmas I had a cold but I played with my sister. He then told me to get away from her because she has a weak immune system. So I went away, but that wasn't enough for him. He ran after me and said: you f****** moron I told you to stay away. Then he punches me in face and I run crying into the bathroom. I hade a huge bump on my head. Then my mum came home and saw this. She was really mad at my father and he threatened to leave her. (he even said that he never touched my face and I did it to myself. Yeah seriously...) but she didn't believe him. Then he says I'm going bye! You keep the kids. But he normally stays at home looking after my disabled sister. And if he left my mum would lose her job so she begged him to stay. He stayed.. guess who got the blame for the argument. .. yep all my fault. The other day I spilled some juice on the table and he freaked out and scratched my arm. I still have scratches on it. And guess what happened today. So I am at home today from school with a cold. And I also have a bad throat so I look for some sweets. I find a tin of sweets that I gave him for christmas. The tin was open so I eat one. Then he walks by and says whats that smell?!@ I panick and tell him the truth. He then grabs the tin and throws them all over the floor like a baby. Then he throws them down the toilet. He then bungs it up. This is just so annoying! Why does he hate me so much?! He even beat me in my grandmas house when she wasn't looking, because I spilt some tea on my trousers. What should I do? Why is he so messed up?!