I hate everything about my life

Lets start off with the top annoying people or shall i say kids that i hate and yes im referring to my kids i hate my kids so much with their constant crying whining yelling i hate it i feed them I bathe them i put them to sleep i do everything and they still feel it's their job to annoy the fuch out of me! I honestly wish i never had them there i said it they where a mistake and i do mean literally we didnt plan them we didnt want them and i still dont want them next up is my boyfriend the father of my kids. Where do i start ? Well he works in a factory (typical) and just because he works and i dont it seems to give him the "right" not to take care of the kids not to do a little bit of cleaning not to do nothing just lay on his ass and i say lay because he wont even sit down on the couch all he does is go to work and lay back down when ge comes home thats all and when i start to show a little bit of annoyance towards this ge gets all mad like if i dont have the right to get mad or sad or anything like all i have to be is "happy" thats not all maybe i can deal with the whole boyfriend doesnt do anything concept if IIIFFFF! He would touch me we have been together 6 going on to 7 years already and for the pass i would say 1 1/2 years we haven't had any relations if you know what i mean we can go days without kissing i know the love is still there because i feel it we still have out good moments it just never "ends happy" and i know hes nothing cheating because i think hes just having a little problem down there but i wouldnt know because we never talk about anything we can go days without talking i always have to say something first. He gets to have his little alone time he will just lock himself in the room and done he doesnt have to worry about the kids or nadaaa but on the other hand if i try to do that all h*** breaks loose! I just hate my life. Why dont you just leave ? Oh i wish trust me i really do wish i can just get up and leave but heres the problem i dont have anything i dont have a mom a dad no sisters no brothers nothing i dont have money because i dont work because he says he doesnt trust the kids with strangers yeah right! I literally dont have any friends im alone and im trapped in this life that i hate so much i cry every night i go days without eating which isn't making things any better i just want to die i want everyone to go away but the one person i hate more than anyone else is myself... I hate myself for having these kids i hate myself for being with this "GUY" i hate myself for wasting so many years with him i hate myself for letting it get this far i hate myself for making this out of my life we only get one and i had to choose the s***** one and after all of this i wont feel any better i will still go on hating my kids hating my boyfriend and most especially hating myself i wont do anything to change it because i dont know how i will live like this until i die and thats not even the worst part

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  • Give her a break! She's blowing off steam. Hang in there! Life will get better in time. Pray to the LORD Jesus Christ...ask him to be your savior.....I'm not judging you....we all need a savior, especially me! Jesus will forgive all of your sins and help you. God Bless!

  • There is God there.

    And nothing more.

    Since your alone.

    You do not have othere options.

    Ask God of roman catholics for help. He is the God of poor and lost. He will come and save you if you beg.

  • Please take advice, you need to make an appointment with family/social service and explain your situation. Your children didn't ask to be put here.Get help before you something happens that you will regret the rest of your life.If you hate your kids and don't want them explain this to family service maybe they will find them your kids a home that will love them and protect them.You are still a young girl its up to you to make a change.
    Good luck

  • You sound very depressed. Talk to a doctor

  • I just want to put you over my knee and give you a jolly good spanking.

  • Everybody gets a chance in their life to make a change and difference. You might not see it but you can change this around. You have to get out there and try something different to change the way you are living now. If you have that attitude, you'll be raising those kids and Hating your life even more as TIME run out. Get up and do something positive to change your life! Go bless you!

  • ^Very true. Your kids feed off of energy. And if you are miserable, they are miserable. It's pretty simple. Your kids are a reflection of you and their homelife. If their life is chaotic, then they most certainly will display that everywhere. You have to start by picking one small thing you can do to change your life and then grow from there. Create better routines and things will fall into place. If you are unhappy with you, start to figure out what you want to change and then things start to fall into place. It's not easy. It's one day at a time. But when you invite happiness and positivity into your life, it is contagious. Again..this isn't easy. It's day by day, minute by minute and it's work. Start with the attitude..change the negative to a positive (even if it is super difficult). There are a lot of people with problems, far worse than you. Be thankful for what you have and change what you can. But you have to start somewhere, so start with yourself.

  • I feel sorry for your kids!

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