My wife is rude and selfish.
I think about how nice it would be to divorce her ass.
I used to think she was gorgeous, lovely, sophisticated, and kind, but even before our marriage I occassionally had my doubts about her and about us.
Her true colors have made me see her in a totally different light.
She is ugly to me, intolerable. Her actions are purely selfish and she does and says alot of very harsh and unkind things. I am supporting her career interests, helping with house and child care, but nothing is enough.
She constantly belittles me, and makes me feel unworthy. I have put on some weight and she constantly makes me feel unattractive and even repulsive.
The worst part to me, is she doesn't really care about what I say or my interests. She doesn't support my interests and makes me feel like I can never achieve my goals, (unless they are goals she has chosen for me, then I am criticized for not pursuing her interests).
Sometimes I fantasize about being eith oter women (not having s** with them, but being with them and fallin in love).
I used to be confident.
If I wasn't afraid of losing our child in a custody battle I would seriously consider divorcing her.
I know that I am not the perfect husband, there is a lot I can improve on. But I am tired of being the only one who changes and improves myself for the sake of this relationship. I feel trapped and I wish I had an out...
There are times when I think I love her, days moments where we are nice to eachother and things are peaceful.. But they are few and far between, and never sustained for more than a couple hours.
I wonder how much better my life would have been if I had dumped her and gone with the other women who were interested in me when I was still attractive and confident. But I wouldnt change it if I could, because our child is the biggest blessing in my life.
Please- dont rush into marriage with a woman you have doubts about. Things may get much much worse.