I love my kid hate being a dad

Hi i have a little girl just turned 10 months and i love her to death but i cant stand being a dad im only 19 years old and all i do is work to barley make it by and i just feel so frustrated all the time and lately i been taking it out on my girlfriend of 3 years and ever since we had our daughter we havent been the same we never have any one to watch her we are lucky to get ten minutes to ourselfs. i just miss having freedom and not having to stress all the time plus she wont even fall alseep without someone holding her so all night i have to sleep holding her and when she wakes up o have to take care of her cause her mon never evens trys to help i feel like i just cant handle it and i dont know what to do i feel bad that im always unhappy cause all i want to do is give my daughter a good life but how can i do that if im unhappy? i just hope as she ages i start getting less stressed and start feeling better and give her the best life possible

Feb 19, 2016

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  • Dear Young Dad,
    You're very insightful. If possible, try to join a single's parents group where you can share with other parents going through the same thing. Also try to build your support network so that you don't grow apart from your girlfriend or mistreat her. There is a lot of information on line about being a new Dad. Maybe in time you will learn to embrace and enjoy your role more. For now try to be patient and kind to your girl and to your child. You're in this together, so be supportive. Take care now.

  • You should've thought about this before having s** with your other half without condom.

  • Our species is doomed because the reproductive bits activate LONG before the brain finishes developing. Dear god, does it show!!

  • You're also sleep deprived which can make you hate anyone. You and your girlfriend need to work together. So write out a list that needs to be done to take care of the house, you, her and your child and then figure out who does what. This is teamwork or coparenting. Whatever, it's also just called being an adult. There are things we just need to ...do. Freedom..yea, probably not until your daughter is school age. And even then freedom is redefined because your responsibilities are going to be different than that of a 19 year old who does not have a children. Whatever, this is your life and you two are going to make it work the best that you can. Where are both sets of grandparents? Are they in the pic? Are they open to watching on occasion? For the child not being able to sleep without you holding her. Look online for sleep training. Children go through milestones at each age. But she should be able to self soothe in order to sleep on her own. Consistency is huge ..making sure she naps etc. There is some regression that happens at this age. But again, look online regarding sleep training and follow any steps they give. It will help you both and give you some peace of mind. And also look into other things that may be coming up, like teething etc. Because that can also be a tough time for babies. Good luck to you. You're going to be a great dad, lots of fun and happy times to follow.

  • Sounds like you are doing most of the work! It is extremely tiring when you never get a break - and you are very young and barely experienced freedom. What you are feeling is normal. It will get easier as she gets older. Hang in there,

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