Mentally Unstable Mother
So, this is my first confession on ConfessionPost, and I wanna hear all the comments you got!
Anyways, I love my parents so much, but I can't stand it. My mother is, how do I put this, a "toxic person" actually, more like a "toxic parent". She makes my father and me feel like s**t for trying to do what makes either of us happy. She gives me crap for church, breathing deeply, and anything of which she isn't a part. I love her, but she has constant freaking moodswings. She'll be happy for a while and POOF: f***ing p***ed! Then, once she's gotten everyone upset, she gets all happy-go-lucky again and acts like nothing happened, and we're supposed to just forget all the names she called us and go on with our lives. Ten minutes later, she's at it again. She always complains. About EVERYTHING. Anytime I bring up something it's excuse after excuse after life story: bringing up mental illness, anything health related, and/or anything that draws attention to someone besides her are main triggers. She'll be lying in bed complaining about needing to get up and run her errands today, and I try to get her up and out of bed, but three hours later, she gets up and pitches a f***ing attitude AT ME for HER LAZINESS!!! EVERYTHING THAT GOES WRONG IN HER LIFE IS MINE OR MY FATHER'S FAULT (mostly mine)!
The problem is that I feel like s**t for wanting to run away/kill myself, but WHY SHOULD I? IT'S HER FAULT! Why do I?: because she's a good person at heart, but she's been put through the ringer by society and the b****h we call life so much that she's broken. She still treats everyone outside of the house (even those who put her through the ringer mentioned earlier) great, but those of us who have helped her when she was down and loved her and supported her: WE GET PUT THROUGH H***!
I want to run away but can't because I'm only 15...I have friends, but they are all busy, so I get stuck in the house and am the only one who can't just run away from it all without actually running away. How do I get away from her because she's gonna end up making me commit suicide? Help.