I'm terrified of my desire to eat my life away

I would do this to you and more and definitely heavier. Let me know if you are interested in spending the rest of your life too fat to move and too full to speak with eyes pleading for mercy as you struggle to keep from puking. 600 lbs is goal 1

I've got a similar story. I've always loved gaining weight. By the time I was 20, I weighed 275. I found a bf who's into fat chicks, so now I had a partner in crime. I did wonder what would happen to my health if I got fatter, but, hey, I was young and had a supportive bf who loved to stuff me with food. So I slowly just gave in and gained with abandon. I'm 31 now and weigh 480 pounds, and loving every minute. I'm still quite mobile and make sure I get as much exercise as I can, which, well, isn't all that much. I feel fine, so I don't see any doctors, since they'll only tell me to lose weight. I think me and my bf are committed to just keep on gaining. I honestly at this point, don't see a goal weight, so I'm just having a blast and not worrying about a thing.

My wife is much the same. When she was in her early 20s she was like 250 to 270lbs. Once we got married she blew up to over 300 in the first year and after 2 kids, and 8 years of marriage she's almost 500lbs. 496lbs as of this morning, to be exact. I love it and she loves eating and doesn't care how fat she gets. Her life is just one big ** of food and fun and pleasure and I'm making sure she loves every minute of it.

You're also making sure that she dies young.

Don’t be afraid. Just go for it

I sometimes force feed my wife but only if she wants me to. Fortunately she wants me to feed her more and more of late. We are shooting for at least 500. We have about another 70lbs to go.

Is it force feeding if she wants it? I would force feed her after she's already full and is not great at all in fact his stuff to s*** that's a good time for a melted court or more of ice cream through a funnel. Are you going to stop at 500? Olympics have any more pounds I would see what 140 more pounds looks like just to have a nice number. Does she ever eat too much and get sick? My 400 lb wife beat yourself to the point of nearly being sick almost every night.

Go for it. I'm sure you can find someone. Do you like the idea of being forced to eat past your limit?

It's scary to be out of control like that and that's exactly what it is, a person out of control.

You should try taking a month and devoting yourself to being a feedee preferably with a feeder. Then after that month or two see how you feel and how much you have grown. Then decide.

What are you waiting for??.. Just do it. You'll be happier for it.

Renee Scarfa was a super fat feedee. She let her feeder boyfriend feed her to death. It happens more than you know so please don't do it. Slim and healthy are the keys to a good life.

Renee Scarfa was super hot. I saw her back in the 1980s and still have an autographed picture of her from when she was working as a carnival midway attraction. She really packed in the crowds. She was the fattest most gorgeous, whale of a woman I ever saw. I hear she ended up weighing in at over 1800lbs shortly before her death in 2008. It's a shame that these beautiful super fat women don't live longer.

She must have been amazing to see. I assume she couldn't walk of stand up.

Actually when I saw her she was still surprisingly mobile for her extreme size.. I think that's what made her so fascinating to watch and look at. All her blubber used to quiver, jiggle and ripple when she moved. Some part of her was always moving even if she wasn't...😆

No, she could stand up with but needed help doing it. She actually danced a little in her adult review show. But mostly she just sat there like Jabba the Hut, jiggling her big fat ** and belly.

I remember her as well. I wish I could meet a woman just like her. I'm sorry to hear that she passed but it was probably to be expected. It's amazing she lived as long as she did.

Did you ever realize your fantasy? How fat have you become? Is it as big of a turn on as you thought?

You and me have the same desire! Except i am the feeder jailer, and you my captive piggy.
This fantasy has followed me for years, and never diminishes. I have never done it, but i sure would love too!
It will haunt you the rest of your life until you do it, or divest yourself of it!
Happy eating; just one more piece!

Hey there, I realise this post comes over a year after your reply but hope you'll read it. I've been fantasizing about getting extremely fat too and I've managed to fatten myself up from 180lbs to 265lbs. I'm 6' tall male gainer looking for a male feeder to help me get extremely fat. Someone who will take complete control over my life and just fatten me up. If you ever wish to contact me and for us to chat about this more, you can e mail me at fat dot gainer @ yahoo dot com.

Did you end up getting a feeder and gaining a bunch of weight? How much do you weigh currently?

I can totally relate to your dilemma. I'm into it too and constantly go back and forth in my head over wanting to be healthy but also feeling this intense urge to just give in completely and turn myself into a massive pile of jiggling lard. So far, the pile is winning. I've always been fat, but I've been purposely gaining on and off for about 10 years and I've put on about 125 pounds. I keep telling myself I'll stop and start eating healthy and exercising, but I just can't. I LOVE getting fatter. I love being so soft and heavy and there is nothing that turns me on more than watching the numbers on the scale go up, outgrowing my clothes, or even getting winded from just walking a short distance. I know this isn't good for me, but it is also who I am. I thought I'd stop at 300, but I couldn't. Now, even though the thought of getting to 400 is scary it also seems inevitable and I'm already fantasizing about 500. Anyway, I hope you have been able to work things out. I'd be very interested to know how you're doing.

Sometimes our most powerful sexual drives are those we find titillate us. Fear and **, both are a thundering heart, rush of adrenaline, and the complete absence of all thought; it's casting aside all logic and throwing oneself into the moment, being caught up in the passion in it and incapable of imagining it as it began or ended. It's just the ongoing moment of your body acting on its own, fear and ** becoming one, and the only true fear being the idea that it might stop.

There's no shame in this. ** is a healthy part of being a whole human being. Some are erotophobic in their tendency to avoid it until a moment where need overcomes personal reserve, and others are erotophilic in jumping at every chance to explore new facets of their sexuality. The concept of fat appreciation has many facets. And, like **, some top, some bottom, and some switch. There's nothing wrong inherently with any of them. The issue you seem to be facing is trying to combat ** with logic, and they operate on two different wavelengths, dear. If you fear the idea but also enjoy it, it's because there are different motives at work. Socially it's understood that gaining weight deliberately, even in small amounts, makes you an outcast. There is also the concern of one's health. Then there is the idea of becoming one single thing, and becoming it so entirely that it makes up the whole of your being. That has allure, doesn't it? Throwing away your life and humanity to become property? An animal? A pig, to be forced into submission and filled up to the satisfaction of your owner? There is safety there. Four walls you'll never have to leave, an owner you can rely on to keep you as a valuable asset, a life requiring no decisions, no worries, no thoughts; they are all now the entire responsibility of your feeder, who will keep you and feed you until the day it all ends.

The ending is the part nobody likes. And I don't blame them. Being healthy is the act of dying at the slowest rate possible. But fulfilling this fantasy, it means you'll die much sooner, but having lived as the thing you feel you were meant to be. Maybe of a sudden heart attack. Maybe a stroke will cause you to linger, though what damage it would do to your functionality would be somewhat moot. DVTs would **, as would skin infections. Honestly, if this idea is more than fantasy, you should be able to hold and stick to an agreement with your feeder on euthanasia when things get bad enough for you. A quick goodbye after the life you wanted, rather than one after a longer life of what you thought people expected of you, is preferable I feel.

That's my interpretation anyway. Feel free to reply.

I have really appreciated your comments on massive weight gains. There is a thought that the whole mindset towards morbid super obesity needs to change and reflect a palliative approach. Make them comfortable, keep them as healthy as possible for the weights they are attaining rather than invasive surgery and fat shaming. Being in care means that gainers are also accessed by Feeders/Enablers. I greatly appreciated your comments regarding care of the immobilized gainer. There are lots of serious issues to consider, your post above reflects a realistic, and in my mind, compassionate response.

I'm sorry for not replying sooner. I don't often log in to this site, though it's begun to grow on me. I discovered my preference for bigger partners in my early teens, and the prospect of a partner so large she couldn't even move from her bed seemed like the ultimate fantasy. And I went through a lot of self-disgust over my preference, to the degree that I accepted I would have to live like anyone with a socially unacceptable sexual focus: alone, never letting my impulses become actions, and satisfying my needs with fiction.

It got so far that I ended up majoring in sexual psychology for my bachelor's degree, and was lucky enough to be mentored by a professor who had made his life's work studying paraphilias that fell somewhere between socially unacceptable, unethical, and criminal. It largely amounts to the capacity to give informed consent. In the process I came to grips with my impulses and found a balance. A lot of people in the FA culture don't seem to have that balance, and I try to offer forethought and counsel where I can. The immobility fantasy is no fun as a reality to most, and the consequences should be thoroughly considered before taking the plunge. Before FAs can establish a complete code of conduct and present a unified front, extreme weight gain and immobility will remain socially unacceptable. Regrettably, that means growing people in need of medical aid to make them comfortable and increase their quality of life will go ignored.