I've disappointed my 20yr old self!

My younger self would be so disappointed in who I turned out to be. I never wanted to be a parent, hated the mundane drivel of the standard routine my life now has, had no desire to be living in one place for more than 5 years. I loved being able to move around; new places, new experiences, new faces. My 20yr old self wouldn't recognise me today. I have no drive, no passion (except when I'm doing something I love, but then that comes to an abrupt end as soon as I remember where I am, and my current situation). I feel like I'd embarrass my younger self, no end.

But I can change this. As my child gets older (I had my child in my early 20s), I'm going to start putting in place things that I would be proud of by the time I reach my mid 40s. I've felt trapped for so long. My 40s are going to be my independence, my freedom; a new life! I feel optimistic about my future, but so depressed about right now.

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  • Stop your pity party. Take a look at the great things you have created for yourself and what you can do, not what you can't. You should be putting things in place now. I agree with the poster below about the 20's thing.. we grow and change (kid or no kid) as you get older. It's life. Just because someone doesn't have children, doesn't mean that they don't have responsibilities or they can pick and go at a moment's notice. This may seem a bit Debbie Downer, but I want to give you some perspective. Depending on what you do for work, it's not that easy to pick up and go and move somewhere because Rent is expensive and jobs can be hard to come by. And you typically need a job in order to rent. Doesn't mean it can't happen, but usually it requires a bit more planning. You need balance in your life. You should feel optimistic now. Get in some mommy and me groups, or meet up groups that share your passion and meet some new faces. Find some reliable sitters - where it's inlaws, parents, your S.O. etc. and escape with some friends for the weekend or by yourself. Find the time to go treat yourself - a facial or a mani pedi. As your child grows, your activities will change. You may even find that they're fun to go on a trip with and it doesn't have to be a kiddie trip...

  • Dude you have to stop judging yourself in the eyes of a stupid 20 year old.... do you know what your priorities were when you were 20 years old?? do you think that kid has the slightest f...ing idea about what life is about???? I hope your answer is NO because when I look at myself in my 20s geeezz I can see how much Ive grown as a person, I hope its the same for you, and if it is, geeez man, you have to stop judging your life based on what you "thought" life was.... live the moment, be happy and proud of yourself today, stop living in the past and in the future, good luck!!

  • Me too.
    20 full of energy& optimism.
    At 50 I look back on a life of mediocrity and under achievement.
    I blame my wife although I realise its probably my fault.

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