I cheated and feel terrible

I have always been faithful to my husband and love him, We have been together for over 15 years and I have never done anything I wouldn't do in front of him , I despise girls who cheat and have a friend who I know has done it and has slept with a married guy, I lecture her on it all the time and now I feel like a hypocrite, My self and four friends went to a huge outdoor country music festival, I didn't think I drank as much as I obviously did but that is no excuse, I have always had a thing for cowboys and admit that I had been checking a few out who looked REALLY good, I was wearing a short little summer dress and cowboy boots with just my bra and a tiny little thong underneath.
I am always flirty and was dancing with a guy out on the floor and he looked really good although he was really young, Couldn't have been more than 20, We danced a fast song then a two step and when a slow song came on I went to walk away and he pulled me back, I just giggled and he pulled me close to him, I didn't really think about much until he slid one of his hands from my lower back to cup my ass cheek, I pulled his hand back up and we finished dancing, I felt myself starting to get h**** and remember being surprised, the next song came on and just my luck it was a slow song with a lot of "Suggestive" lyrics, by mid song I was really h**** and felt really awkward because that is usually the last thing on my mind when I'm drinking but I had my head on his shoulder and I noticed that he had kind of danced me into a corner of the dance floor where I couldn't see my friends and had a wall on two sides of me, I looked up at him and he kissed me on the lips.
I should have pushed him back, I should have said NO but I felt a flood of warmth go from my lips across my face, down my neck, my chest, my hips, my legs, right to my feet, I pretty much melted in his arms and kissed him back, He cupped my bum with both hands and knowing no one could be behind me I let him, I felt myself breathing heavy and my head was spinning, I put my hands on his chest feeling his muscles and kissed him again.
He took me by the hand, Led me off the side of the stage and we snuck into a dark corner, Thinking back I don't really know why I didn't stop, why I didn't say something but he grabbed my hips, Lifted me up sitting me on some big metal box, He put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back, I laid back and he spread my knees, He pulled off my thong and put it in my hand, I scrunched it up and squeezed it as he licked me, I drifted off into a world where nothing mattered, He lifted my legs and I let him lick me in places I don't even let my husband.
He stood up, pulled his pants down and stepped up between my legs, I never even gave it a second thought and just stared at him in his cowboy hat and let him shove his c*** in me, He was having s** with me and pulled my top and bra down, Since having a few kids I am not overly proud of my b**** but at that point I didn't care, He cupped my b**** as he slid in and out of me, I started to feel things I have never felt before, My whole body was tingling, my mind was foggy and when I came the first time, That's right...THE FIRST TIME, Thank goodness the music was so loud because we were right behind the dance floor and I tried to be quiet but I don't think I was, He kept going and I couldn't even control my body anymore, I was sitting up, Grabbing his hips pulling him into me faster and harder, I had my arms around his neck kissing him and he stood up on his tippy toes, I managed to croak "Not inside", I slid off the box and squatted in front of him, I was leaning back against the box and he shoved his p**** in my mouth, as he came I sucked him and swallowed then he stood me up and kissed my neck and played with my b****, I hopped back up on the box and spread my legs, he licked and fingered me until I came AGAIN, I was shaking and my head was spinning, My mind was all foggy and I couldn't get enough, He told me we should go find my friends and helped me fix my bra and dress, I slipped my panties in his pocket and said something about getting them back later, We walked around the side of the dance floor and as I walked to the front I could see my friends, I turned to say something to him and he was gone...THATS RIGHT, he ditched me, I walked up to my friends table and they didn't even notice I was gone from the dance floor, They looked at me and one said "Finally, I thought you were going to spend all night out there.
I spent the next hour scanning the crowd for him and clenching my legs together as I couldn't stop the tingling, After we went home to my friends house I crawled into the spare bed and couldn't stop my self, I got off A THIRD time and finally drifted off to sleep, In the morning I didn't remember what had happened right away but as bits came back to me I couldn't believe I had done that, I feel terrible and wish it never happened but it did so what do I do now.

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  • Monogamy is boring and unnatural yet again more evidence of it it doesn't matter how hot nice rich eventually u want someone else as a change

  • That's messed up. Shady.

  • You SHOULD tell your husband, as much as you don't want to it's the right thing to do. Problem with today's world, others will come on here and make excuses for what you did and you will try to unburdened yourself and ease your guilt. Have others help you justify not telling him to not hurt him or lose him, which is selfish he deserves to know who he's married to. You can't tell me you look at your husband the same or the s** is the same and never will be again. If you can live with this lie then you will justify it to yourself to do it again. Things happen, people do make mistakes but people should also deal with the consequences of their actions.

  • Sounds like you may have been slipped something in your drink, Happens sometimes, Not the date rape drug but maybe something else.

  • Hi there! I was cheated on and I swore I would NEVER mess with a married man, and I lectured friends that did. Then I slept with a married man... we're human and we do stupid stuff. I agree get yourself checked, but you're probably totally fine. Never tell him. If you love him and want to be with him just never tell him. The hurt is unbearable, and could very well tear you two apart. Good luck!!

  • Go to gyno - make sure you're clean stat

  • It happens. Don't beat yourself up. Never tell anyone, it doesn't help anything, just causes hurt.

  • Interesting. It's one of those posts I wish were true. Maybe it is.

    If it is, why not let your husband lick you in those places you don't let him. Maybe you could rekindle some excitement with him.

  • Obviously a mans reply, thanks for your narrow sightedness and lack of originality, The point of me telling this is not to try and rekindle anything but to take a load of my mind.
    BTW I got tested and am clean.

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