Confused relationship

I love my boyfriend so much and I couldn't ask for anyone else other than him. We have been together for almost 5 years now. We broke up once and were separated for 7 months and then we got back together again. Yesterady, he traveled back to see his family and attend a wedding but he forgot completely about me. Every time he goes back home his attitude changes and am not sure why. The wedding was his sister in law friend or something so basically he wasn't obliged to attend as isn't not family. I texted him today saying that I couldn't sleep but then ended up receiving a reply that am busy am off to the wedding now and he didn't even text me for the rest of the day to check on me or anything at all. Sometimes i feel like am being taken for granted for everything i do. When i fly back home to see my family I don't really spend that much of time with them so i can spend it with him, i know its wrong to favor him over my family. But, i only do that to show him how much i love him.. Then what? Am not even getting a text message to be checked on for the whole day?!!! I am mad, but am not sure if am mad at him or myself! Have two of my ex boyfriends been texting me alot recent and one of them wanted me back, he literally wanted to get married to me and i said no. Then other one texted me a while ago and he wants to see me. Even though I love my boyfriend so much and I don't want to hurt him at all, i wish sometimes he would feel jealous. Honestly there is absolutely nothing between me and those guys anymore but i want my husband to see me sometimes like am being looked at from other guys and would do anything just to keep me for him including getting married. We didn't even tell anyone that we got back together. I got a job offer overseas and had to move thats why only some of my friends here only know that but both our families and close friends don't. Am tried of living this secret life sneaking around like am doing something wrong. Am fed up, i need to be loved and cared for like i love and care for him. Is that too much to ask?

Jul 30, 2016

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  • Talk with him straight. Express yourself to him, TELL HIM what he's doing to you. Take action but gently :)

  • Ultimatum

  • He's lying to you. You don't sound needy and insecure. You sound concerned as you need to be. Question him and if his answers don't add up, you have your answer. Why are you his dirty little secret? You shouldn't be. As for me, I've been on the other end of the spectrum. Or situation. Until I found out about the other lady. I'm dealing with it now. But I'm very hurt. How could he do this to me? Sometime, men don't see that way. They don't want to be lonely but they want their cake and it too. You'll figure it out if you haven't already.

  • He's lying to you.

  • You guys have been together long enough that any invitation that comes to either of you, should include both of you..or at least a guest. That would be the polite thing to do, but not everyone is polite. As for him being gone and not contacting you. Yes, he could very well be busy. Would it take a long time to text? no..but does he do that even if he's in the same town as you. It sounds like there's some trust and insecurity issues going on. You sound insecure and needy. Like, you need the reassurance of text every few hours for him to check in on. You believe that to mean that he cares about you. I'm not sure why your exes are contacting you.. you've been with this guy for a long time. So it's strange that two random exes call out of the blue with one wanting to get married. That doesn't sound like platonic contacts.. they for some reason think there's a chance. You also seem want other men to look at you while you're with your boyfriend. You think that will make your bf jealous and give you some sort of confidence. Think you're too immature to be in this relationship. That's not meant to be mean. You need to work on yourself and build your self esteem. If you're trying to make him into someone he is not, you will be forever unhappy. And think you need to come clean and divulge your secret if you really want this to work out.

  • Dump him now. Go find someone who treats you well.

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