I am bi-polar, and I have 3 kids that I love - but I can only think of 1 think that I enjoy about being a mother. That makes me feel so guilty that I want to just leave town and start over somewhere that I can be an unknown. I think about how much I enjoy being at work, and how relaxed I feel when I'm at work (even though I'm stressed and exhausted - i genuinely enjoy it). I think about the times I'm alone with my husband when I can't relax because I'm so distracted by my dread of being interupted by the kids - and the fights that result from parenting decisions, and wish we could just be in our own little bubble alone together to snuggle and f*** and snuggle some more. He works away from home right now - leaving me alone with the kids. Every day is the same - I work, come home and fight with the kids until they go to bed, and then I rest/watch TV/binge eat ice cream/drink an entire bottle of wine/daydream about snorting some clonazepam/think about possibly starting to smoke until I go to bed where I toss and turn, dreading the return of daylight and responsibilities. So then I pull my laptop out and binge-watch bisexual orgy p***, daydreaming about my husband blowing another guy while I watch - which will never happen because we live in east bum - population 20.
Uggh. This probably isn't super interesting to a lot of you, but I needed to get it off my chest somehow. So...thoughts? Should I bail on the kids? Should I become a smoking alcoholic that snorts my meds?

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  • UGH, yet another mental defective who just had to go and reproduce and is "sad" about it now.

    Poor you, wishing you could do all the fun glamorous things your bipolar brain tells you you should be doing, except there are these three little LIFE RESPONSIBILITIES THAT *YOU* MADE running around, making messes and noise and being needy all the time.

    Here is yet more evidence that it's the stupid ones who have been breeding the most, so why is anyone surprised that the world is in the shape it's in?

  • Just be who you feel that you really want to be.

  • Dont start snorting anything... Its a bad way to go. Either enjoy ur wine or smoke weed, or ciggs. And what's with u wanting to see ur man suck another d***.. Maybe if he likes that, you can take a trip since populations is 20...

  • Noo just start smoking weed... When they go to sleep its smoking time. It will all be better, just a few things need to change with what you do with your time.

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