Guilts and regrets

Has Anyone ever had a child that they loved but also regretted and prayed to reverse parenthood and then something tragic happened and the kid passed and now they feel guilty

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  • My gf had baby i was not happy about paying support then he was playing n her garden the wind blew a slate down cut his head off i was very sad but ok now and support finished

  • You're joking right

  • I don't believe in that kind of karmic cause and effect, but my wife does. She got pregnant while we were living together, and we thought of aborting, but got married instead. He was born with multiple disabilities and was a real challenge, and although we loved him, we wondered if he wouldn't have been better off not living a life of pain and difficulty and unawareness. He died at 2yo, and although that was over ten years ago, she still believes that we caused or contributed to his death by having those feelings about his life. She experiences guilt nearly every day. I try, and therapists have tried, to discourage her from such ideas, because they are unsupported by any science or reason, but she holds to them, and occasionally will become angry at me for not sharing them. I've not ever felt guilty for a second. I am, conversely, very gratified that our son is no longer suffering. I would never tell her that, but it's true. His misery would have increased throughout his life. I'm glad he's gone. I hope you aren't experiencing the loss you describe yourself, but if you are, just know that it gets better . . . if you'll allow it to get better.

  • I'd be mad with her. She's getting angry with u for not sharing her crippling ideas. It's much worse to lose someone you've known for a long period of time. The kid made it to 2 years old barely had any idea of his surroundings and suffered the whole time, we treat horses better than that, say if it broke a leg or something.

  • She is his mother even after all these years, give her some slack. Let her know you feel the same. She needs it...even if you dont.

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