I wasted a decade of my life

I flunked out of graduate school...loved the program, the people I met, where I lived...but my grades started slipping and I was losing control. Unable to find work that would pay the bills, I moved back home. After a year I grew extremely depressed. I stayed with my folks for way too long, trying to find a good job, a place to live, trying to figure out my life with no luck. I lost what few friends I had. My student loans are through the roof, I lost all motivation, went to tons of therapy, and basically just prayed to never wake up again.
Recently, my parents retired to Florida. I followed them down there shortly after, on the pretense this may be just what I need, a chance to start over again in a new place. I feel a lot more positive down here, I already have a job. I miss the rest of my family back home. I feel so guilty for abandoning them and even worse about all those years wasted doing nothing. I just want to make something of my life already, to be happy and purposeful, to not disappoint my folks. Time is flying by these days and I don't want to waste any more of it.

Nov 2, 2019

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