Life is conflicting
I really wanna do well for my parents. They have raised me up and worked so hard for me to get a good education. I have great parents and they have given me an amazing amount of love. I have great friends and they have gave me amazing amount of support and have let me feel comfortable. I have a really awesome life. But for some f****** reason I can't seem to love it. I know that if I keep up my hard work I am gonna end up well in a good job and a good life and meet a good husband. But again for some f****** reason I don't want any of it. I might sound like someone who can't appreciate life but I do love life but all the things I want to do in life being ME. Wanting to do well for my parents and wanting to be ME can't ever seem to cross paths. I wanna explore and do all sorts of things. I wanna accomplish all my sexual fantasies and do things that I like. For some reason I don't want that good life. I want a life where I can be me. To choose the path of having a good life means I have to sacrifice all the things I wanted to do being me. It f****** sucks because I feel so caged in, in this society of customs and certain paths.